Derren and I are getting closer every day, and this never ceases to amaze me. I have been "in love" on SL before, as I think most avatars have, and sometimes it's crossed that vague line into reality, which is probably not always a good idea, though I have absolutely no regrets, not now, not after the fact and the healing that time brings. The good and the bad parts of those past relationships have conspired to make me the AV that I am today, so I figure I might as well embrace them as fact, and move on, right?
This time is different, though. I have a RL boyfriend, without whom I would be totally lost in RL, now. Surprisingly, he is very supportive of my relationship with Derren, and vice versa. I think this allows me to explore not only myself, and my internal workings through the SL relationship, but also allows me to understand, for lack of a better term, "mental intimacy", on a deeper level than I ever thought I could. Being able to love someone for who they are, not having physical distractions complicate the relationship, and cloud the important issues, is an amazing lesson to learn.
I don't want this to turn into one of those "ZOMG!!! I met the perfect avatar, and we are so perfectly happy, and my SL is a perfect place, filled with perfection!!!!" posts. It's not. We're not. We have our share of difficulties with this relationship, as any relationship does. Sometimes, I can be a real shit, as many of you know. Yes, he can keep up with me in that department when he wants, too. You know, though, that's what makes the relationship that much more REAL to both of us. Any two sets of pixels can bump their way through their Second Lives, and have a good time, and keep it superficial. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, as long as there are no hurt feelings. We've learned, however, both of us, that sometimes the disappointments, which are FAR outweighed by the good times, can also lead to deeper bonds, as we work through those things that we disagree on.
Derren and I are both the type of SL person that invests a lot of our RL selves into our AVIs. We love each other deeply, and we know quite a bit about each other's RLs. However, this doesn't mean I'll be flying to England soon, nor he to the US. There is a line which we don't cross. This allows us to be lovers inworld, and to become deeply bonded RL friends as well. I'm glad I've finally learned where that line is, and apologize to any past lovers that I've crossed it because of.
It's amazing to me that we've gotten so close in so short a time. I'm not one to open up to people, on deep levels, and he isn't either. The fact that we can, makes it so much more special. *smiles*
OK, moving on.......
I have become an addict. I had forgotten the sheer joy of building in SL (he also supports me in this, though it must make for some looooong boring evenings for him, the monotony of which are only broken with my swearing at accidentally retextureing walls, deleting prims, etc..... lol!)
I started building again, with Tel, in order to try and help pay for the homestead, which I no longer have the ability to support solely from RL anymore. His DJ'ing has taken off to the point where he now contributes much more, and I've had to learn to accept that, and take it in the spirit which he intends it. (Yeah, I know... I'm a BIT on the AR side, and somewhat controlling... NO! you say! HAHAHAHAH!)
I have had several sales, mostly of my tiny little grunge shack, and the Li'l Punk, the small steam house I did.... that is good, but not why I'm building almost all the time, unless he makes me take a break and head to a club or something. I'm hooked. I thoroughly enjoy the creative aspect of it all. I'm pushing my own limits, and relearning old skills and tackling new ones. It's almost like being back in school again, which I always wanted to do. For now, between the relationship, and my rediscovered love for creation and learning, it is enough. My SL is complete. Oh, and yeah, we ARE officially engaged. We just haven't set a date. *grins*
____________________________________________________________
My latest build.... the Jenny Nathaniel (that was the name of the elderly matriarch that lived there then,,, the house is no longer around, and she is long gone, too, so somehow seemed a fitting tribute to both grand ol' ladies)..... based on a house that was down the road from my Great Grandmother's when I was a wee bit of a pixel, it's a rather romanticized version of an ol' South, mid Victorian plantation house, though I can also see it sitting on a hill in some small town, being lived in by one of the "good families", who go out on the verandas (no, they are NOT porches south of Kentucky! Ha!) to look down on the "common folk" that work in their factories at the height of America's "Gilded Era".... wow, I DO have an imagination, eh? HAHAHAHAH!
I'm gonna landscape the ol' girl up, for photos for Marketplace, but I have been putting it off.... Derren and I have both decided that, yes, we COULD live in a Steampunk world of elegance ourselves, quite comfortably. I am reluctant to give up my beaches,though, for a while yet. It's still cold as hell here in RL! LOL! (I give us about three days after we get done landscaping for the pics.... then we'll start on the sim. Ha!)
*surprisingly content in both worlds*
Tel
No comments:
Post a Comment