Sunday, February 28, 2010

Well, it's ALMOST over!

   The last few days have been very hectic, so I haven't had much time for writing.  On Thursday, in RL, I had had enough!  I got in the car, took off for the Louisville Metro area, and just RELAXED!  I feel that I've earned that, now.  In the past, I've always been like...."Oh, here I am wasting time.... there is so much to be done, etc...".  I drove down, met a buddy from SL, an old friend from the FIRST Avi days, and hit the malls!  WOOT!  Shopping "end of season" sales is FUN, especially with REAL money, and not Lindens!  HeeHee.  Down side of that.... one of my favorite high end clothiers was having a half price sale.  XD!
    Rented a room for the evening, because I hate to sleep in other people's houses, unless we are really close, took a shower, got cleaned up, and went to meet my buddy at the bar.  Connexions is probably the biggest gay bar complex in the midwest, and Louisville has rapidly become the "gay mecca" of said territory.  I hadn't been out in YEARS!  I didn't know it, but he had arranged for 9 of his friends in the Metro area, who are also on SL, to meet us there... how fun!  It was amateur drag night, and those, of course, are ALWAYS fun, and funny!  We had a blast!   (Must be livin' right... met new friends, have friended most of them now on SL, one or two haven't been on yet, and had a CUTE little 24 yr. old flirtin' with me all night!  Guess it's not QUITE time to put the old Satyr out to pasture yet, eh?  HA!)
     Got up Friday morning, went to see my old friends Norman and Jim.  Jim runs a puter biz, and had just gotten the newest MacbookPro as a demo, so GAVE me his "last year's model" laptop!  How kewl is that?!?!?!  New home pc, and now mobile too! (Soon as I get the house done, and have time to get service set up.)  Norm and I took off to the spa.  OMG!  Massage, hotrock treatments, facials.... all performed by VERY attractive Phillipino young men.  I was in heaven, but must admit, I fell asleep during the facial.  LOL!
     After that, came home, and finished moving the studio into the new room.  Took most of the day, but it's done!  Today, I clean the old studio, to prep it for the return of my REAL BEDROOM FURNITURE!  Yes, I am getting my shit back on Monday!  Woot!
     On the SL front, this weekend is the anniversary of the Seven Isles RP group.  Congratulations, gang, and I hope to have SOME time to come play!  Last night, went to a SkyClad dance, met some new residents of the Isles, shot the shit with my sis and bro in law, and generally relaxed and had a great, spiritual evening.
      OH, one final thing.... my son, Spanki, just posted what I think is one of the top three SL Photos that he's ever done, and that is saying a lot, since his work is always amazing.  Here's the link!  Check it out!
      Gotta lot of work to do today, so hope to have some inworld time later!


Thursday, February 25, 2010

Ok, this time Spanki started it.... XD

     Yes, that is a rather ambiguous way of starting what I think, might be a very serious post.  My son, Spanki, recently blogged about dreams, mental "illness" and healing.  An interesting topic, and entirely pertinent to a RL/SL blog like this.  Read it.  It's very well written and makes several good points.  His, not mine.  Mine will most likely be a random stream of consciousness, as usual.  LOL!
     As most of you know, I don't differentiate between SL and RL.  To me, they are both perfectly valid "realities", just with different parameters for interaction, though the two CAN mix and blend, usually successfully, but sometimes with very adverse effects.   I live with, not suffer from, Bipolar Disorder.  Notice the capitalization. Intentional.  Years ago, before diagnosis, my life, and that of those around me, was a living hell.  Up/down.... violent mood swings from euphoria to the darkest depression (tried to suicide twice), the staying up all hours of the day and night, "improper sleep schedules" (i.e. sleep a coupla hours a night, then nap in the daytime, or just sleep for thirteen hours a day, w/o accomplishing anything in the waking hours).
     When living with this, or any other chemically induced disorder, it's VERY important to realize that you are NOT sick. Not in the traditional sense.  Mine is quite simply a seratonin imbalance, caused by faulty receptors. Physical, but OH how the mental/emotional can aggravate and trigger it.  SL has been quite a therapy for that.
     "Dreams" he talks about, and not really even recognizing the person that he "used to be".  That I can totally relate to. I remember my dreams, and subscribe to the theory that they are ways for the subconscious to deal with/alert us to problems, or their resolution.  You kill a dragon in your dream, it might be that bill collector that hounds you day and night.  It might be the ghost of an ex lover, or, in my case in particular, the cancer that has affected my life so deeply (David and my grandmother's death.... my mother's run in with cervical cancer... my own brush with it in the form of skin cancer...).  Dreams alert us to problems.  Dreams help us solve problems.  Usually.  Ask around..... if you dare, if you are close enough to fellow avatars.  It seems that while many come to SL to play, those of us with "histories" and "mental illness" (gods, I HATE that term!) are ubiquitous.  Dreams of abandonment.  Dreams of fire.... (ACK!).  Dreams of love found and love lost.  Erotic dreams. All have their reasons, and all are reflections/resolutions on the day's/week's/month's problems and good things.
     In SL, we have a chance to act out and ON those "secret night fears".  Some choose the road of  Dom/Sub, for various reasons.  Some choose fantasy characters (my Satyr).... they give us a chance to act out, to BE what we can't in RL for various reasons, to explore our better/darker natures.  IRL, I tend to be a loaner, not always by choice, but through what life has thrown me.  On SL, I am THE Social butterfly, with friends from all walks of life, all lifestyles, male, female, gay, straight, Fur, Neko..... whatever.  This is where his mention of "empathy" comes in.
     SL gives many of us a chance to express those "deeper human emotions"... the ones that set us aside from the lower primates.  For those of us that ARE empaths, like Spanki, myself, Corinda... and oh so many more that I have run across on SL, this "game" that we play gives us a chance to reach out, to bond, to share a bit of our souls, usually w/o the fear of the hurt that comes with in RL.  NOT always the case, and some of you are aware of what I speak, but we'll just leave it at that for now.  For us "sensitives", the bonds that we create/feel/share on SL are VERY real.  Spanki "is" my son in many ways. He is about the same age as my RL daughter, with whom I have a rather diffident relationship.  He allows me to care/share/be there for him in ways that she can't/won't.  Corinda "is" my sister, that gives me the emotional support that I don't get RL from my blood relatives.  Her hubby, Eacen, both RL and SL, "is" my brother-in-law..... someone to joke with, horse around with..(pardon the pun... he's a Centaur!).  One caution, though.  There are those, whether intentionally, or through self-delusion, will play you.  If you are empathic, and they are good enough, or actually believe their own delusions,  they can rope you in, make you care.  This is an EASY way to get hurt, but eventually, you see through it, and "feel" the other person's soul.  Empathy is both a curse and a blessing, at times.  However, that being said, it DOES open up the door to true and lasting friendships, like I have with my SL family, with  Aso, with the Tarts, etc., just be careful.
    These relationships help.  Some relationships on SL can be bad for you.  When emotions get involved, and you, as an empath, begin to "feel" the other person, you get involved with their RL problems.  In many cases, this is a GOOD thing.  It's bonded me to my son, my sis, and to others here.  It's given me access to people that I never would have met.... GOOD people, like my Tarts... heehee... in RL.  It's given me love, given me pain, but above all, it's given me a way to help others.  An empath NEEDS that.  We "feel" the pain in others, and want to make it go away.  This in turn, helps us to free our own souls, and "be" ourselves.  This gets us back to the "mental illness" factor.
     By concentrating on "the game", by letting yourself "evolve" in SL, you can concquer many of those demons that plague your dreams, and cause you untold problems.  It enables you, but in a good way, IF you make it so.  It CAN be caustic, depending on the depth that you are willing to reach to, but, for the most part, it is a blessing. At least to me, it has been.  Yes, SL has caused me to cry my heart out, at times.  I've been HURT here, emotionally. But most nights, I laugh myself to sleep.
      This is a good thing, I'm thinking.

Yes, it's 5:00 AM for me... yes, it's been a sleepless night.  NOT because of nightmares or anguish though... but because of excitement.  I get the new phone lines installed today, and can finish moving the studio.  My furniture comes home Monday.  I have something to look FORWARD to, and not back on, again.  Thank you to all of my SL buddies that have made this possible.  Thank you for those of you that have let me rant and rave, both in voice, and in IM.  I could NOT have gotten myself back to this "good place" without the therapy that you've provided.  Medication only goes so far.  Sometimes, ya just gotta bitch to receptive ears!
Love you ALL!
     Oh, and I'm going to THE CITY... heehee... yeah, it's capitalized in my thoughts, too.... this evening.  SL has allowed me to get that far.  I've been mostly a recluse since David died, with just a few "good times" thrown in.  SL has given me the confidence and just plain "chutzpah" to get back out there.  By using SL as an alternative to having a RL for a LONG time, too long perhaps, I've learned to love myself again.  Learned to "reach out" to others, and BE what I was so many years ago..... a Doer, a Thinker, but most of all.... someone who can FEEL and CARE about his fellow humans, and be amongst them, at peace with his own soul and intentions.   I can go back out, explore RL again, with good intentions.  If the other person fucks that up, that's their problem, not mine.  My soul is clean, and so is my conscience.  I trust myself again, and my own motivations.
     The friends that I'm gonna visit are taking me to a dinner theatre.  They have an interesting evening planned for us, but DO have a computer. Several, in fact.   If the addiction kicks in, I'll be on.  For a while.  Maybe. I have a vision of us sitting side by side, on distinct laptops, on SL, all the while talking RL and SL.  Kinda like the 12 yr old girls do at Walmart.... standing next to each other, all the while texting to each other about the cute guys in the checkout isle. Texting each other on our cell phones about the cute guy standing next to us.... trying to get them to get him a drink, and say it's from you.  ROFL!  HAHAHAHAHA!  Oh, this is gonna be SO much fun!
     Enough rant..... have a GREAT day, my family!


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Wow.... where to begin?

    Guess I"ll just jump right in..... put the final coat of finish on the studio floor this morning..... waiting for it to dry a bit, to see if it needs any "fill in the places you missed, idjit" areas, but, other than putting the furniture back in place, the front two rooms are FINISHED!  I kinda have to wait until after Thursday when the phone company comes to crawl up into the attic, and move some lines around, to switch the old studio into the new one, then the furniture can come home to see me!  YIPPEE!
Looking towards the wall that was destroyed two months ago!

On a MUCH more personal note,  I have finally reached my first goal that I set a year ago January 2.   I have lost FIFTY lbs!  Gonna shoot for another twenty, but I think that I wouldn't look good, as I am barrel chested, and kinda built like a pit bull anyway... short and stocky.  Now, I'm starting a fitness program that won't hurt my back too much, so gotta try to put it all back to where it was several years ago.... heehee... (yeah, at almost 50, good luck with that, eh?)

I know, I know.... it's bragging, but dammit, I now weigh the least I have since seventh grade!  Woot!  (and that really WAS a while back!  heehee!  Oh, and the "gollywaddle" chin is inherited, no matter HOW thin we are, the whole family has it. Thanx, Mammaw!  HAHAHAHA!)

On the SL front.... I've really gotten close to some of the old gang from Bali.  Wonderful people, all of them!

My friend Joy took this... LOVE it!

This is my posse..... I refer to them as "Tel's Tarts"... teehee!
(L. to R.:  Flower, Tel, Velma, Joy)
GREAT bunch of gals! To bad Traci couldn't join us that morning!

Y'all be good, behave, or be spanked!  (Like that's a BAD thing?  HeeHee!)


Sunday, February 21, 2010

Down to the wire......

     Sorry I've not been blogging much, but my RL has been hectic as hell!  Had an interview for a GREAT job, so keep yer fingers crossed.  AND...... the guy that interviewed me is understanding of the fact that I can't start right away, because of the house issues.
    That brings me to the second item that might interest some of you.  All that's left is one ceiling, a halfwall over an archway, and the floors.  I'm gonna CLEAN the floors today, then make the decision on whether to try to salvage them, or just paint them.  We'll see.... should have my furniture back by the end of next week!
A real bed.... Woot!
    As far as SL goes, been spending a LOT of time with my son lately, now that we're both single.  It's nice to have family.  Just the usual for Tel.... out networking for my charity causes, playing with my family, both the one at Seven Isles, and Spanki and the rest.  Just haven't had a lot of online time. 
     As far as RL goes.... it's gettin' SO much better lately.  As the house gets closer, of course I want it done NOW! but can see the light at the end of the tunnel, finally.  AND my unemployment finally kicked in, complete with all the back due.  YEAH!
     All this has contributed to a peace of mind that I haven't had in a while.  As Martha Stewart used to say "It's a GOOD thing!"  Love y'all!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


     Just a short update.  The crown molding is finally up in the living room!  Woot!  Now, it's just paint, clean, and the floors, which I've decided to paint.  (I know, I know... have heard this from my mother, who used to refinish furniture, wood floors, etc. for a living, but I like painted floors, and am simply running out of time to get the room done!)
     Anyway, have been spending a bit of time with an old friend.  It's nice.  Closure and fresh beginnings are always good things, methinks.


Tel the Smexy Trucker......ROFL!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Guess WHAT!

It's snowing.   Again.   Hard.  Yay..    NOT!   I am SO sick of winter!  (and having my plans changed because of the freakin' SNOW!)  Had travel plans for Tues. and Wed.  Well, was gonna go pick up a friend, bring them back here, they were gonna help me finish up in the house for a coupla days.  Now, barring some miracle, it ain't gonna happen.  I HATE WINTER! 

An evening of unexpected surprises.................

    Ok, yeah, I'll admit it..... I've let the actions of others kinda "get me down" lately, and haven't exactly been my old fun lovin' self.  Part of it is, of course, the anniversary of D's death, and part this idiotic Hallmark Holiday, which, since D's death, I've always managed to be alone on.  SL and RL.  LOL. 
So, after going to a dance at Seven Isles yesterday, and seeing all the "happy couples" and a few singles, and even someone who has a special place in my past, I was in a BIT of a funk.  My recent break up, the fire, Mom's health.... I'm a little on the vulnerable side now.  A weakness in the old Scorpionic Goat?  Hell yeah.  I've always worn my emotions on my sleeve, let people know exactly how I felt about them, and taken them at face value. Being an honest person, sometimes to a fault, I expect/look for that in others. 'T'aint always so, as my Mammaw used to say, but, if you give it, you will USUALLY get it back.  RL has REALLY been gettin' to me lately.  All those people that I helped move, redecorate, etc....  guess what?  Seems that they are all to damned busy to help me now.  Imagine that.
    So, after about a week or so of raw emotions, and "putting on a good face", it all kinda fell apart for me the night before Valentine's.  Fortunately, I have friends.  Good friends. Lots of them.  I had a long long talk with one that I barely know inworld, but have gotten close to on Facebook.  She kinda knocked some sense into my head. LOL!  And on the 14th itsself, had a LONG talk with my Sis, Corinda.  Finally got myself back on track, and back into life.
    So, back to the point, after this trying time, I was just kinda going around the sim, sending shit BACK to the rude people that seem to have been using it as a sandbox...(may have to adjust those perms there)....when Spanki's bro Franzi IM'd me, and wanted to come over with his hubby, Kenshi, and see my new place.  Of course, I was delighted, as I love both these fellas to death, and wanted to get to know them better, and not just in a club setting.  I had to go to the RL store real quick, but they hopped over while I was afk. Came back to find them cuddling on one of my swings.  They had waited until I got back for the "tour".  What gentlemen!
    We were about half way through, and I saw Spanki log on, and immediately invited him over, too.  We all had SO much fun, until the happy couple had to go sleep.  The time difference is hard on SL sometimes, but workable, usually.  After Franzi and Kenshi left, Spanki and I sat and talked about some deep stuff for the longest time, and healed more old wounds, and just had quality Father/Son time, sitting in my big old swing, yakkin' our butts off. 
     Then I got an IM.  It was in response to a rather heated exchange with someone from my past.  From that person.  I was unsure whether to even respond, but after getting madder and madder, I did.  You know what?  There was WAY lots of unfinished business there, and, having shooed Spanki off to sleep (time diff there, too), and after an hour of IM'ing, we got most of it settled.  It's nice to put old angers and hurts,  misunderstandings and drama to rest, and to apologize to people that you've wronged, and to accept those apologies from them, as well.  
       It was probably the best Valentine's day I've had in a long, long time.  Thank you my friends and family.  You are simply amazing!

Kenshi, Franzi, Spanki..... *hugs, mates!*

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Interesting days these days.....

Since I've more time on my hands, a bit in RL, (I'm done pretty much with the living room, just waiting of the damned contractor to get the crown molding up so I can finish painting! Then on to the bedroom walls and the floor!), I've been re-acquainting myself with old friends on SL.  Spent the other evening talking to my son, Spanki, which was lovely.  He came and toured my new place, damn near wrecked my fishing boat! (ROFL, we were larfing SO hard!).... then we sat and talked...... just talked.   It was such a lovely evening that we've planned another in the near future, with some of his brothers to be invited along for the good times.

I've reacquainted myself with a friend from WAY back, too.  We'd kinda lost touch, him being married now with a kid, me having gone through a FEW  OK, well, only three, but who's counting?  I t was nice.  He's completely straight, but we sat, cuddled and caught up on about six missed months.  That was really nice.  It's so nice to have friends that don't even try to bring "SLex" into the conversation, though that CAN be a LOT of fun, too!  HeeHee!

I'm kinda gettin' back into my Satyr more and more these days.... been missin' me hooves!  Although my "human" friends on SL are some of the most wonderful people that I know, I DO miss my "fantasy" life on SL sometimes, so expect to see me around Seven Isles more.  Corinda has mentioned that she would like me, perhaps to RP her brother there, since she's got a Satyr father.  I might just take her up on that, since, in RL, she kinda (no DOES) already feel like a sister to me, and her hubby, Eacen, (both RL and SL), though he plays a mule... er, excuse me, CENTAUR, on SL, (LOVE you, ya big lug!)...has a sister in Ladyhawks, so why should Cor be deprived of MY company!?!?!?!  ROFL! 

So, who knows where and in what form you'll see me around SL.  I'm Tel.  That's what I do, and, dammit, I do it GOOOOOD! (yeah, yeah, I know.... "well" would be more proper, but don't look or sound right here!  ROFL!)


Friday, February 12, 2010

Ah, well.....

   As most of you know, Asoniel and I "broke up" as lovers, both SL and RL.  It was about a month ago, and the only thing that I will say about it is that it was necessary for us both, and has led to us actually salvaging what started out as a lovely friendship anyway.  I think that perphaps we're closer now, in many ways, than ever.  No harm, no foul either side.  Nuff Said.
   We've kinda "revitalized" the old morning coffee circle in SL again, but, as usual, the cast is changing constantly, due to who's working when, who's moving where, etc. It IS, though, still one of the highlights of the day.  To be able to "wake up" with your friends and loved ones, hot coffee (nectar of the GODS!) in one hand, ciggy in the other, just sittin' and yakkin'.... yawnin' together and larfin'.... good times!  This mornin' it was Aso, Traci, Cully and me ( as Gany... wouldn't let Tel log on this morning... LOVE me some SL, sometimes!  grrrr), on the site of Traci's new home, which is magnificent!  A far cry from her little beach cottage back at Bali.  She found a quarter sim, GREAT tier, with totally restricted waterways, so she'll never lose her view, or her use of her boats and such, which she loves! You GO, girlfriend!  Heehee!
    Well, just droppin' a note to keep in touch.  Tomorrow the crown molding goes up, and the final door facings etc.  Almost done with half the RL house!  The other room just needs washing to remove soot and smoke stains, and repainting.... should move pretty quick now!  YEAH!!!!


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Ok, Corinda's done it again.....

My SL (and kinda RL   *smiles*) sis, Corinda Taurus, made some excellent points about RP today on her blog.  I think y'all need to read this.  To summarize, it's the difference between quality, and quantity.  If you want a massive MMRPG, stick with those sims.  IF you want family, friendships that LAST, and quality, stick with the little sims, where we all get along, and drama, if any, is personal, and doesn't last. Nuff said on that..... read her post.  She puts it better than I can.

On the RL front, I've almost finished the painting in the living room.  Just have some trim boards (chair rail) to put up, then paint, and then finish that damned fireplace cabinet, which I've been putting off.  I took the whole day off today.  Even temporary, makeshift "work" like I'm doing now, with the house, needs a break. 

Back at it tomorrow, though.  And HOW!  I have still yet one more room to paint, but it's just that... painting.. no cleaning, no drywall to sand, nothing but painting.  Oh ,yeah, and the damned floors in both rooms!  HAHAHAHA!


Sunday, February 7, 2010

OMG, this song....

Christina, and gay relationships... if this one don't get ya, then don't know what will....

Friday, February 5, 2010

RL House Update......

Well, this has been a interesting week. For me, Got the gas back on, have REAL heat for the first time in over 4 yrs, I think. Got hot water, too! Ceiling is painted in one room, and about half the trim. Now, just the walls (two colors), the MONSTER built in fireplace (fake)/cabinet, and kicking the contractor's butt to get the final bit of the wiring done.... Seems that he "forgot" one whole circuit. Jackass.
Anyway, spending most of the daylight hours working on the house, with just brief inworld sessions when I need to get off my poor achin' feet. Ladders, cold and damp weather, and rheumatoid arthritis are NOT a good combo! See y'all when I get a chance!



Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Monday, February 1, 2010

On the subject of alts.....

Just thought I'd show y'all Gany and Sidd... these are my two main alts..... the ones that I use for the Styling Biz.

Hope you like!