Deep Thoughts.... (or not, it IS me after all!) LOL!!

     Life has been a mess lately, what with the job situation, my health, Mom's health... the list goes on and on.  There has been one bright side to this long stretch of  "too much time on my hands."  I've been reading.  A lot.  Both online.... whether it be conversations in SL, status posts or links on Facebook... online essays by some of the greatest minds of our time, or the past... and in the Real World... actual paper with printed words.  One of the most profound things to come out of this has been the reawakening of my "give a shit".  Don't get it?  Lemme 'splain what that means to me.
     When I was younger, an idealistic teen at the tag end of the Vietnam era, with all the detritus left us by Kennedy, Nixon, Ford (still not sure he REALLY existed!  LOL!!), Carter (good person, lousy president...), and then into the prosperity and "golden years" of  Reagan, when I was in my early twenties..... I "gave a shit" about things.  I worked for AIDS causes when that hit my part of the country.  I stayed a Republican, a long family tradition, and worked actively as an openly gay man to try to effect change from withing the party.  I worked two jobs, yet found the time to also work for gay rights.  I met David, we settled down, and life was smooth. 
       After David's death, and for some years before, my "give a shit" was lulled into sleep.... first by the ease, wonder and beauty of our life together, then, when he was gone, by the "shutting down" that is inevitible for a while after such a loss.  I went on working, went on day to day, dealing with the humdrum in a fairly plodding, nonchalant fashion.  I never had problems based on my sexuality, nor really on anything... (I worked in the restaurant industry, rife with homosexuals... hah.... and look/act "straight", whatever that means... meaning that my basic way of living is to not flaunt myself... not as a conscious decision, just my personality.)  Life existed, had a few joys, a few setbacks, but in general, just kinda "was".
       Last fall, I ran into, if not true homophobia, its first cousin... an almost "racist" way of treating homosexuals in the workplace.  Fag jokes, being treated as a lesser form of human being, being denied the dignity that was accorded to other workers.  And it HURT.  I had NEVER, in all my life, come across that.  After the lay off in January, I started noticing this inworld, to some extent, and in other writings, newscasts, etc..  To be honest, I was kind of surprised, as I'd not had any personal experiences with this, well, ignorance.... this deliberate unwillingness, whether religiously based, demographically based or learned behavioral response, to NOT educate onesself on the facts about things before putting others down.  My family had worked for civil rights for blacks against the Southern Democrat establishment.  Here in the North, they had bucked BOTH parties by inviting blacks into our home, having many black friends, etc.... so I hadn't been brought up in an atmosphere where there was THAT type of ignorance.
     Anyway, this long time to READ, explore the "mind world" that is the America of today, has reawakened my "give a shit".... I now "give a shit" about healthcare, about equality for ALL people, regardless of race/creed/sexuality/gender/religion.... I now, once again "give a shit" about ME.
     I have had the more "goody two shoes" of many kinds commenting on my Facebook posts..."You're so negative".... "That's just wrong."  etc..   Well, guess what?  THAT I don't give a shit about... as a friend posted on her status there one day..."I don't set out to annoy or anger people, but I don't go out of my way to apologize for it if I do, either."  Good philosophy. 
     What triggered this post today was a comment that a dear, long time friend made to me posting some pretty hardcore EBM/Goth/Industrial vids on FB.  She, in her "sweet" way, implied that I was in the wrong, and that she was "glad she could retreat to her peaceful corner of the world" instead of listening to the "sorrow and anger".  Well, guess what toots.... you're an upper middle class married woman, whose hubby brings in the bacon, so you can run your own "therapeutic New Age" business..... you, and others like you, can afford that "peaceful corner" both financially and emotionally.  Not all of us have that luxury.
    There are those of us that must go into the dark, angry places of our souls and minds, occassionally, in order to be able to appreciate that "little corner of peace" when it does crop up. Life is not always "smooth sailing" when you are unemployed, taking care of an older relative (with whom you have an on and off history), dealing with the very REAL possibility of losing one's home that one has invested thousands of dollars in, fighting health issues, etc. This music lets my mind get mean, vicious and downright evil at times.... all while saving the world from outward manifestations of my frustrations. What follows when I come back from "these place" is a more balanced ability to cope with the mundanities and set backs of every day living. Like the real world, there is not always "goodness and light"... violence and death, illness and hate..... they also add to the balance of Nature.
  

Thanx for reading, if you made it this far!  LOL!!  If not, I don't blame ya.... this IS a bit rambling today!  HA!   Here's your cookie, for those that DID endure the tirade!


*Peace, in balance with the Dark*
             Tel

Ah, a rarity....

I rarely post twice in a day, but an incident at a club Sunday night has had me thinkin about and missing David more than I have in a while.... Cyndi Lauper was "our" favorite artist at the time, and he used to sing this song to me, way back in the early days of  karaoke.  I still cry whenever I let myself listen to it.



This one.... OMG...... well, suffice it to say that I lose it NOW, everytime I hear it.   The meaning is too deep for me to explain, unless you've HAD that "one and only" in your life.  And then had him/her taken away.



*Retrospectively*
        Tel

GOTTA love Monty Python!

Oh, just watch the damned thing!  ROFL!!!



*Peace, Soccer and Philosophy*
              Tel

Let's get NAKED!!!!!!

Friday kicked off the Nekkie Weekend at the Gay Archipelago.  Got to go to a wonderful party with Ziggy, and we actually won and split the "best in boots" contest!!!!  Unfortunately, I took this pic before I knew the contest's "rules" and changed into my "Butch Bitch" boots, but it was hilarious watching the reactions ( and crosshairs!  Yes, I leave my look at on a lot.  LOL!!!!!) of this room full of beefy, sweaty hunks to long lean Tel!  Who knew that so many were excited by 8" heeled thigh high boots on a man!  ROFL!!!!!

Anywhooooooo, it was a blast, and I'll keep my pics from it (at least the ones posted!  *winks*) and the others that I hope to make it to today on the last day "R" rated at worst.  Hard to do with the Zigmeister around.... Remember the old expression "All it takes is a warm breeze."?  That poor man.   So many look ats, so little time!  Lubs ya, Ziggybro, and PLEASE don't put anyone's eye out with that thing this weekend!   ROFL!!!!!! 

Tel and Ziggy..(He's the one with the HAWT beefy bootay!) in the foreground....

I didn't know too many there, but I do know that Larz and Kharissa are in the background, and Queen did the music, which was fab.  I can't even tell ya the name of the club, as I'd never been there-- Zig tp'd me in--- and I was a BIT distracted by the witty conversation and the great tunez!  Oh, and neeners.  LOTS of neeners.  *grins*

It's been a LONG week......

     Well, this has certainly been "emotional rollercoaster week", in both worlds.

    First and foremost, I want to offer condolences to Franzi on the loss of his RL fur kid.  To lose a pet, especially one that you've had for a long time, is very difficult, regardless of their health.  In this case, I truly believe that the dear critter is in a happier place now, chasin' the eternal mousies around the Great Catnip Field in the sky.  Franzi, the strength that you evinced during this ordeal is an inspiration to everyone around you. *hugs, my friend*

    On a brighter note, Franzi has literally thrown himself into the rebuild on Tidra.  Whether you RP Gor (personally, I don't... I just rent from him "upstairs") or not, you HAVE to see this sim.  If you like wilderness, mountains, and ancient ruins..... this is HONESTLY one of the best I've seen.  That is not friendship speaking..... as many of you know, and one RL friend recently said.... "You are waaaaayyyy to honest and outspoken with your friends.... why are you so quietly kind to strangers?"  LOL!! (We'll get to THAT conversation later!)  Tidra is almost ready to reopen for RP, too, he assures me... it'll be nice to see people back downstairs from time to time OOC, as I DO have a lot of friends that are Gorean.

     RL has been, to say the least, frustrating this week.  It's been hotter than hell... temps around 95 degrees F everyday until yesterday with humidity pushing the heat index well above 100 degrees.... one day it hit 110!!!!!  Not good for chubby old folks with arthritis, trust me on this one.  We have had storms.  OMG have we had storms... winds that take down siding and limbs.... enough rain to fill the Ohio River ALMOST to flood point, etc.  I wish I could send some of that to my Canadian friends... I have one that's in between two wildfires, safe so far, but BOY are we praying for her!

     I had two job interviews this week.  The first went really well, and I should find out something by the first of the week.  Only bad thing about it was, as I was leaving, I saw someone that I knew heading in for an interview for the same job.  I only have three more unemployment payments, before it runs out. (Hey, btw, thanks Congress for NOT passing that extension bill!  That REALLY shows how much you care!!)  If I don't find something soon, there is a VERY good possibility that I'll have to sell my house.  She on the other hand, has three small children to feed and raise, and her no good asshole of a husband left her for an 18 year old gal.  My innate sense of "right" tells me that she should have this job, so I'm kinda hoping something else will show up for me.  We'll see.
     Second interview never happened.  Went to the business, announced that I was there for an interview, and sat.  And sat.  And sat some more.  Eventually, a DIFFERENT secretary came out, asked my business, so I repeated what I had told the first.  "Mr. so and so called me and set up an interview today."  "Oh, he didn't come in to work today, I'm sorry.   I'll have him call you when he comes back."  OK, there was an hour and a half wasted.  AND I think that was incredibly rude for no one to call me and let me know.  I may be unemployed, but I DO have other things to do...... yardwork for mom, still working on the house, etc...

     Mom's health has been up and down.  The heat and humidity is bad for her lungs, her arthritis, and her disposition.  Nuff said.

     Anywaaayyyyy...... to anyone that I may have been snappy with this week, sorry (See quote from RL friend above...LOL!!), but I'm human.... or elf, or satyr, or whatever...LOL!!... and have "these kinda weeks".... it doesn't mean I don't cherish each and every one of my RL and SL relationships.... after all, if you can't hit your friends with leftover emotional detritus sometimes, who CAN you? 

*Peace and hoping for some for ME, too!*
       Tel

Playing again.....

Joshua Cartauld with Tel as the "Wolficorn"

DJ Yu with his new Hybrid (Lycan/Vamp) skin.

Latest Self Portrait, and the original white screen it was made from.

Tel's lastest "Furvitar"  (I'm not REALLY a Fur, just like playing with the AV's sometimes!)  This is the Wolficorn, made up of bits from five different  Fur/Fantasy/Futurist AV'S.

Flagged post from Craigslist.....

Don't know why this keeps getting flagged... it's relevant, and not dirty.... I will post the link, then a cut and paste... the article is called "To the Straight guy at the party last night"

Here's the link to the original post, long as it holds out this time.....
http://lansing.craigslist.org/rnr/1801128648.html

Here's the cut and paste of the article itsself....:
A mutual friend of ours threw a big party for her 30th birthday, tons of people were there and it was a lot of fun. Somewhere along the line you and I ended up on the balcony for some fresh air at the same time. We started chatting; we talked about sports, books, tv – discovered we both are about to start our masters degrees and spent some time debating the pro’s and con’s of the educational system. We talked about hanging out sometime, and you wanted to meet my girlfriend.




I understand how upsetting it was for you when I blinked mildly in surprise and said I was here with my husband. I know it was a shock to your system, if your face had turned any paler I might have called 911. You made a good recovery though - that hurried mutter of “I’m not like that” was very polite and you only knocked over two drinks and one vase in your hurry to rush to anywhere other than near me. I can’t blame you – I forgot how delicate you straight boys are. So I wanted to give you a few helpful hints about where you went wrong last night.



1) As a general rule we don’t walk around with big signs around our neck proclaiming our sexuality. No scarlet letters, no scent of hellfire and brimstone… sorry about that.



2) We do not generally assume that everyone within 5 feet of us must also be homosexual – it was nice of you to immediately reassure me that you are hetero, but it was really unnecessary.



3) Homosexuality is not infectious. While I am sure you meant no disrespect with your hasty departure; in the future you can rest assured that taking a few extra seconds in your mad dash for safety will not result in you being turned gay. It will however keep you from destroying expensive vases and knocking over senior citizens.



4) This next one may come as a surprise; but you are not, in fact, irresistible. The fact that you have a dick does not instantly turn me into a bundle of uncontrolled lust. Contrary to popular opinion, being in the same room with a straight man does not cause a gay man to instantly lose all common sense and basic common courtesy. Though I am not so sure about the reverse.



5) Homosexuals in general get a little irked when people treat us like some sort of leper. Rushing to another mutual friend of ours and advising him of my sexuality, so he could be “forewarned” was really uncalled for.



6) Upon being told (by said mutual friend) to stop being an idiot and that you were not my type anyway… it generally confuses the issue when you then proceed to become upset that I DON’T find you attractive. Three seconds ago you were running through a crowd of people with your hands cupped protectively over your junk as if I might attack you at any moment with a blowjob. See hint number 4.



7) We homosexuals have an odd sense of humor – I can’t help that. Something about watching you freak out as if all the demons of hell were after you just struck me as vastly amusing.



8) While being pissed at me for dissolving into uncontrollable laughter might be understandable… gathering a couple guys together to “teach the fag a lesson” is not.



9) You might also want to drink a little less and be a little more careful about the guys you approach for your little proto-hate-mob.



10) Assuming the two tall muscle-bound bruisers must be uber-hetero and just as appalled by my presence as you was your first mistake. It was an understandable one though. How were you to know that pflag tshirt the first guy was wearing wasn’t a sports team? Also the rainbow ring the second guy was wearing could have meant anything I am sure.



11) In retrospect I suppose that upon hearing your not very subtle hate-talk and seeing who you were heading for; I could have said something instead of just laughing harder. I apologize for that. I should have just introduced you to my husband instead of letting you walk up to him and ask him if he wanted to help you teach “that fag over there” a lesson. I hope that broken nose heals up cleanly.

 
 
*Peace and giggles and OH, so much truth.... *
Tel

Freakin' Hilarious!!!!

ROFLMMFAO!!!!!!!!



*Peace and Laughter*
        Tel

Passes out the Kleenex......

Justyn posted this on Facebook.  I watched it.  I cried. 

This song has SO many levels of meaning in it for me, from the first time that I heard it, LONG before I saw Wicked the first time.  This version.... two beautiful voices, no scenery, no props, no orchestra... just two voices singing of love and friendship.... is perhaps THE best version I've ever heard.  EVER.

This is dedicated to pretty much every person I've ever had as a friend IRL, ISL, and beyond.  Love you all, and yes, I don't know if I've been changed for the better, all the time, but I DO know that I've been changed for good!



*Peace, Love,Friendship, and half a box of Kleenies!*
Tel

Just a little fun....

I love parodies, I love Gaga..... good combo!




(Personal fave.... Banana Phone, Gaga..... how could you possibly go wrong!  LOL!!!!!)


*Peace and Parodies!*
       Tel

Good friends, good times!

     Well, I've settled in nicely in my new domain high above the Tidra sim.  Although I don't RP Gor, and haven't for a LONG time, I do thoroughly enjoy Franzi's new build "down below".  Its' breathtaking, not only in it's beauty, but in the attention to not only local detail, but also to the "style" of the books (which are not my type of SciFi, but I did read them once upon a time.)  He uses cylinders to build, with rarely a square wall in sight, as is often mentioned in the books, unlike most of the Gor sims that I've visited, which use "standard medieval look A or B" if you know what I mean.... timber frame walls, lots of square, flat buildings, etc. 

     All that aside, Franzi and I have spent many an hour building together.  What this translates as is:  He builds, I make suggestions, he does exactly the opposite, and it turns out wonderful!  LOL!!!!!  Actually, we just yack and yack while he's working.  It's nice to have a good friend to talk to while you piddle away the hours on such fun stuff as inventory work, RL stuff, etc.  (While he's being incredibly creative and productive of course... I"m usually off searching YouTube, or playing games on Facebook....LOL!!)

     Anyway, just givin' a shoutout to all the hard work he's been doin' for the sim below, and a thank you for taking me in, and being such a dear!  Lubs ya! (Hell, I lubs the whole "family" of yours that I've met so far... great folks!)
 *Peace, and Friendship*
           Tel

Blasts from the past!!!!

OMG, how I loved Millie Jackson back in the day!  Found these surfing around on YouTube last night, and just had to post them!

This was the very last song I did on stage, back when I used to MC the drag shows at a bar in L'ville....ah, the memories! (This one is dedicated to my David..... it was one of his all time favorite songs.....*Still love ya, baby!*)


This is one of my faves of hers.......(You know who you are, and wherever you are.... I hope you've found happiness.)


And just a little dedication to SO many over the years!!!!   LOL!!! Who can forget THIS little gem?!?!?!?!



*Peace and memories*
        Tel

Tel was just thinkin......

Tel was just sittin' at home tonight, (while *I* was doing some homework for a possible venture back into the world of higher education....), and Tel bored and thinkin' is not usually a good combo.  LOL!  After getting an IM from his "Dark Angel" to come help make new skin decisions, which he LOVES to do...(Tel... voicing opinions?  The hell you say!  ROFL!)... and having a brief chat with said perdy li'l angel... he popped back into the nasty RL for a bit, to finish his project. 

Lo and behold, when he got back to Tidra, his whole family had showed up... so he used it as a photo-op to capture the whole Macarthur Clan on film! (so to speak.... heehee.....)  Better enjoy this camaraderie while it lasts, Tel, my old friend, because you KNOW about the fighting between the boys, and yer sis stays away for such long periods of time with her wife!  (Cornfuzzled yet?)

Here, for the first time since the new computer and new graphics card..... ALL of the Macarthur's in one grouping!  YAY!! (Gods, I love this new beast of a machine I got last January.... five av's runnin' all at once, full graphics, and NO lag!  WOW!!!  I'm still like a kid with a new toy, even six months later!)

Left to right:

Dead Hansome, Teleny Macmoragh, Siddhana Macbain, Teleny Macarthur, Ganymede Sparta

Dead is a bit of a "boy next door gone bad" type.  He's the "new kid on the block", so he's a little shy, and kinda hard to get to know, but a LOT of fun once you do! *winks*

Macmoragh is NOT a child or teen AV.  He was actually created before Macarthur, but there were firewall issues, so the Family started over with Macarthur, then revived Macmoragh later, to be the banker AV.  He's taken on a life of his own, RP'ing in a sim where there are no mutant giants like his younger brothers. LOL!

Sidd... ah, the lovely Mrs. Madelaine Marialla.... Sidd is married to her bestest friend, Maddy.  They are a wonderful example of what can be accomplished with gender-bending on SL..... and it's all for fun... they ain't even got "bits"!!!!   ROFL!!!!  Sidd is the only one in the family that's ever kept a successful relationship going.  ALL the boys are jealous of her!

Macarthur.... well, personally, y'all know enough about him to write three books by now, and probably more than you ever wanted to know!  LOL!!!  So, Nuff Said!!

Gany....... aw, you sweet hunka meat.  Gany is my "innocent"... the family "prettyboy"... do NOT let his act fool you.  There is a great deal of pure evil lurking behind those pretty eyes.  Many's the fool that's fallen victim to his sweet talkin'...... Gany is Tel's closest brother, but there is a LOT of friction between him and the other two, most of the time.  He's SUCH an arrogant prick!  ROFL!

Some very few of you have known the WHOLE Clan.... many of you have known PART of it... well, here for all the world to see, is Clan Macarthur..... and DAYUM, they ARE a smexy bunch!  (and modest too! :-P )

(AND being able to run multiple av's all at once has, and I"m sure WILL lead to

some very interesting evenings!  LOL!)

But, wait...... you say there's been mention of SIX avatars before?  Hmmmmmmm...... well, we ALL have our dark little secrets, eh? 

*Big ol' nasty grin!*

*Peace, and you TOO go forth and personally fill SL!*

Tel

Just a RL opinion on the Gulf oil leak........

      I see people wanting to boycott BP stations, and hope they don't. I'm as angry/upset/confused by this whole mess as anyone, but, this will not hurt the company in the least, just the small business owner that is trying to feed his/her family. Picket the main BP headquarters, if you must, but I don't think it will really do any good.
     Personally, I think that we're just as much at fault as any oil company, any politician, or anything else. We're the ones that have to have the SUV's and Hummers, and 4WD Pickups, for personal use, (business use is different)......Just an opinion.
      I freely admit my personal guilt in this.... I have an addiction to horsepower too, and up until five years ago or so, I was driving/restoring a '75 Pontiac Catalina, 400 big block, with a four barrel carb... got about 14 mpg city (on a good day) and maybe MAYBE 20-ish on the highway.....
     Even when my car was still running, I walked to work whenever possible for the last three years, quit driving to Louisville or Cinci, just to play every weekend..... and yet, am still just as guilty, because I keep my house set on 65 in the winter, and burn WAY too many lights and fans in the summer..... just sayin'.....
    As a FB/SL friend of mine pointed out to me, the BP franchisees here, were, for the most part, originally affiliated with Mobile, or other US companies that were eaten up by BP, and not all that happy about it, when it happened.  The ones that I knew personally had too much time/energy/money invested to leave the situation.  This is OUR fault, collectively, not theirs, and as soon as this is accepted, maybe it can be dealt with better.  Stop pointing fingers, work together, fix the damned problem THEN worry about pointing fingers, before the area of the world that I was born in, and love so dearly, is totally destroyed!
     Please!

*Peace and loads of frustrations in many areas*
Tel

Potpourri of pure random thinking......

   SL thoughts:  Had another wonderful night at Pride last night, but didn't get there until late.  It was Romanum sim's turn at Iridium, and I had probably inadvertantly deleted the group's notice about it, and would have taken one of my other "boys" to dance, since he is in that group, but showed up as Tel in leather, again.... lol!  Aw, well, the "other's" Centurion costume is too hot to dance in anyway!  XD
           I ended up hopping over to Rhodium later, and heard another great set by InsyX, and several of us ended up in a wonderful discussion about food, politics and sex.  ALWAYS a good time!  ROFL!  Gotta love us Americans and our preoccupation with all three of the above!  LOL! (Btw, he's a wonderful debator... educated, informed, well spoken and respectful, even when it was becoming obvious that there were some major philosophical differences.... LOVE people like that!  Look forward to the next verbal smackdown, Insy!  LOL!)  I even met a Republican Lesbian!  Now there are two of us gay Repubs!  LOLS!
          My son, Spanki, has been adopted by his li'l brother  JessieCraig's new family on SL.  I am very happy for both of them.  From what I've seen and been told, it is a wonderful, loving vital grouping, which can hopefully give them both the support, time and attention that Tel is just not capable of at the moment, due to that nasty RL. They also have the added bonus of being on closer time zones, which allows for much more interaction as well.   They will both always be my "kids" in my heart, and I wish them both all the best in this, and everything else they endeavor!!  *hugs*  (with maybe a small, wistful tear or two for the 'coulda, woulda, shouldas'.....)
          I am reopening my AV styling biz, and combining it with doing profile photos, to engender some income on SL.  I've made about 2k so far... not bad in a week, and it's almost a week's rent! Other custom photography commissions are always welcomed to.... drop me an IM!

RL thoughts:  The job situation is gettin' me down, but I'm hangin' in there.  I guess the rumors that my ex-boss was not planning on bringing me back to work at the reopening are true, as he has an ad in the local paper for cooks/managers etc.  This gives me mixed emotions.  I hated him at the end, because of the reasons that I have stated in previous posts, and won't go into that again.  I hate him NOW, because of apparently being given bad references based simply on my not liking to be verbally abused in the work place.
(One quote from someone that was there when a call came in..."I don't know who the hell he thought he was... it's MY business, I'll say what I want... that's my right as the owner!"  sheesh!).  However, some little part of me was hoping, I think, that I would get to see my regular customers and daily friends and acquaintances again, and that this man, whom I used to admire for his business success, and in many other areas would have had time to think, and perhaps mellow a bit on the "fag issues" as he calls them.  (Indiana is a state where gays have NO status, legally.....so don't even get into the lawsuit issues with me!)

Other than that, just been sailing along....... day to day, one foot after the other... it's about all any of us can do!  Thank you to all that have let me rant, rave and fall to pieces on your shoulders.  I could NOT have survived the last six months w/o each and every one of you!  Cheers!

*Peace and a little frustration*
           Tel

Leather Night at Pride!

Tel the Leather Slut!

  

 Wow, what a lot of fun!  Hot, sweaty leather and latex clad men.  Hot dances.  HOT music by DJ InsyX, whom I finally got to meet inworld, and whose music is EVERY bit as good as I've heard, and ALMOST as hot as he is!!!!!!!   Met a lot of great new people, have a couple of  "interesting" evenings planned in the future!  Need I say more?  *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

*Peace and LEATHER!!!!!!!!*

Tel