Saturday, October 10, 2009

Stepping on the Soapbox. or "Buy a mirror, Damnit!"

   I usually don't blog about RL things on here, as this is primarily my SL blog, but this HAS to be said.... there are avatars in RL that need some slider bars, and an AV stylist.  Today was a small festival here in my hometown, a cooking competition, with soups, stews, chilies and beer.  Good combo.  Good for business at the diner.  All around, a good day, or so you would think........NOT!
   As soon as I opened the door this morning, there was a woman, app. 6'1", come through it.  I am NOT just speaking of her height.  She was as round as she was tall.  Now, I have been heavy all my life, the worst for me personally, before my car wreck years ago that compressed my spine two inches, was when I was 5'9", and weighed 268#.  That is pretty big for such a short person.  But, even at my worst, I KNEW how to dress.
    This gal had on stretch pants.  OK, that can be overlooked, if you wear them with a nice, well made longish sweater or something.  Kinda kewl, on us big gals, actually.  Did she?  NO!  Riding atop this poor pair of pants, which not only were stretch , but           
S  T   R  E  T  C  H  E  D
approximately four sizes TOO much, was a roll.  Not the good kind.... the kind that you wanna eat, with a nice cinnamon crusting, and a topping of glaze.  This roll was the doughy, pink flesh left exposed by  a.... "shudder"   METALLIC TUBE TOP!
     OMG!  It was ONLY  48degrees!  This poor tube top was left, ALL on its own, to support the most humongous knockers I've ever seen.  Thank goodness those nipples had risen to the occassion, assisting by nearly poking through the ALMOST sheer weave of the top.  Otherwise, I fear that there would have been a sudden explosion, which probably would have set off my sprinkler system.
     Did I mention the WHOLE thing was in shades of lime green ,for godz' sake?  "shudder again"

     Following her in the door, was a skeleton.  Now, I know it's almost Halloween.  Skeletons, Jack-o-Lanterns, witches, all these are becoming more prevalent.  We expect this at this time of year.  But.... I don't think this poor fella meant to look like one.
     He was tall.  That is hard to dress for a man, or so I've always heard, never having had the chance to find out personally, about 6'8-6'10".  He was emaciated.  I would guess, (although I must admit here, that tall and thin has NEVER been a forte of mine), only about 130-140#.  You could see every rib.  He was wearing a black pair of "skinny" jeans, or maybe women's jeans.... hard to tell, as they were both fairly young, prolly mid 20's, and attempting the "emo thing".  (Beret for her, sock hat for him... not just ANY sock hat and beret, MATCHING ones... black and red plaid.... sheesh,...... WAY too much "emo/goth" eyeliner on both... looked kinda like the Crow, which btw, is a VERY  kewl look, for the right people, in the RIGHT clothing!).  For a top, he had on a skin tight (or should I say "bone tight?") black, horizontally striped turtle neck.  The stripes were bone white.   He looked, for all intents, like a skeleton that might hang in the old Dr's office that is a tourist attraction here.
    Now, I'm not knocking heavy people..... I have been one almost all my life.  I am not knocking skinny people... I have wanted to BE one almost all my life.  But, if you are either of these, or just somewhere in between, as most of us are...... LOOK IN THE DAMNED MIRROR BEFORE YOU GO OUT THE DOOR!!!!!!!!
    There is clothing made for both sizes, that fits, and looks nice.  And you can find it relatively inexpensively.  Better yet, if you are as poor as I am, go to the local "mega box store", or Salvation Army, or Goodwill, or just a thrift shop.  Stop at a newsstand on the way, and pick up a men's or women's fashion magazine, respectively.  Most of them, these days, will show pictures of people your size, as the trends are changing from just "beefcake" men, and "stick figure" models.  Get an idea, get a clue!
     If the RL "forces that be" have played hell with your slider bars, and Ruthed you, or dwarfed you, or made you into the SL giants that dwell HERE, it is up to YOU to find the correct style that works.  You can't relog real life!
     Sincerely, and thank you,
Blinded, gagging and giggling,
Tel

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