The ADAP program here in the States is a program to help people with no other resources have availability to HIV/AIDS drug programs. Through my new Facebook friend, Dab Garner, who tells me he was one of the first people diagnosed with HIV back in the 80's here in the US, and is an activist still for this cause, I've learned that state funding in many areas has been cut for these programs. If you would like to help, here's how:
ADAP Action AlertShare.. Yesterday at 7:57pm
Friends,
Please read the following about ADAP waiting lists and help ASAP! American men and women with HIV and AIDS are counting on you!
big bear hug,
Daddy Dab
Action Alert
Urge President Obama to Provide Emergency Funding for ADAPs in Crisis
AIDS Drug Assistance Programs provided medications to over 166,000 individuals in FY2009. Unfortunately, many ADAPs have put in place barriers to access such as reducing the eligibility, changing the formulary, and closing enrollment. Nearly 1,000 individuals in nine states are on waiting lists to receive their life-saving and life-sustaining medications through the AIDS Drug Assistance Programs (ADAP). We need your help to ensure that the Obama Administration takes action to help those in need!
How you can help:
There are two ways you can help. By the end of the week please call or email (or both) the White House.
1. Call the White House at 202-456-1111 and leave the following message:
My name is _____ and I am calling today to urge President Obama to provide $126 million in emergency funding for the AIDS Drug Assistance Programs. These programs provide life-saving medications to HIV-positive individuals who have no other access to care. However, nearly 1,000 HIV-positive individuals are on waiting lists to receive their medications. Please take action to address the crisis.
2. Email the Office of National AIDS Policy with a similar message. Please email AIDSpolicy@who.eop.gov with the following message:
My name is _________ and I am writing today to urge President Obama to provide $126 million in emergency funding for the AIDS Drug Assistance Programs. These programs provide life-saving medications to HIV-positive individuals who have no other access to care. However, nearly 1,000 HIV-positive individuals are on waiting lists to receive their medications. Sixteen other states have instituted additional cost containment measures that are barriers to their programs.
Please take action to help these ADAP clients.
Sincerely,
Your Name and City, State
Thank you all for reading this. I'm sure, like me, you've all lost friends or family to this dreaded illness. Please help if you can!
*Peace*
Tel
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Pant Pant Pant.......
I think Poppa Tel is gettin' overheated here... maybe spreading the coals around will help diffuse the fires a little, but OMG, I doubt it! Woof!
(Thanx to my good friend Lucifer's Raven for turning me on to Kazuki Kato.... pant pant whimper whimper... LOVE this song!)
*Peace*
Tel
(Thanx to my good friend Lucifer's Raven for turning me on to Kazuki Kato.... pant pant whimper whimper... LOVE this song!)
*Peace*
Tel
Just discovered this group! WOW!
Picked this vid off of a Facebook link.... I'm hooked! "Clay Stones" by We Are The World
*Peace*
Tel
*Peace*
Tel
Night from HELL!!!!!!
OMG....... last night was the night from HELL, but turned into a pretty damned good one, after all! Experience just ONE evening in the life of Tel's RL alter ego!
OK, so I'm supposed to go to Louisville, stopping to pick up the RL "insignificant other" as we call ourselves, right? Then, we are supposed to go to this fancy-schmancy Derby party, and I get to wear the Armani tux for the first time in like five years. Ok, so far, so good, right? NOT!!!!!
I get down there, after the hour drive, no problems. I get to JV's house, go in to see his Momma, who has some major health issues, and has just recently gotten out of the hospital, having almost died for I think the third time in the last year. I also get to visit with his li'l bro, who relieves him occasionally as caregiver so he and I can spend some time together. Love that kid to death!
The visit goes well, and we head out to the hotel that we usually stay in when I'm down there. We do that as much for privacy, as to let him just "get away" for the night, from the constant pressures and demands that he has as his Mom's full time primary care giver. Anyway, we decide, since it's kinda a "special event" evening, to upgrade to a room with a jacuzzi/hot tub in it. So far, so good, still, right? Not really.
We carry the good clothes, and assorted "crap" in, and notice that the hot tub has been "Added" to the original design... it's in the corner of the bedroom area, which is a little strange, but still no problem, as it's just the two of us. We hang the "good clothes" on the clothing rack, fill the hot tub for a little "pre-party relaxing" ;-). I'm in the restroom, when I hear JV turn on the jets in the hot tub, followed by "FUCK!!!!!!! GET OUT HERE!!!!!" Now, mind you, all sorts of things go through my mind... he's fallen, he's electrocuted, etc. This is the man that rarely swears, and certainly not at full volume.
I come into the main room, and there is water dripping EVERYWHERE, and still spraying out of the hot tub, which he is trying in vain to get to shut off. Finally, I find the breaker for it, get it off, but by now, our good clothing, our "street clothes", the bed, damn near the whole ROOM is hosed down. One of the jet nozzle covers has come loose, allowing the spinner nozzle to point straight up, and out the side of the tub. Needless to say, my legendary temper immediately kicked in, I put the wet clothing BACK on, and head to the office.
The poor night manager looks up as I come in, sees me standing there dripping wet (Towels all got wet, too...grrrr......)....and blanches JUST a little bit. I calmly approached the desk, and said..."I think we need a different room." He looks at me, quietly asks what happened, and waits. I tell him, and he actually accuses US of doing something to "his hot tub". NOT the right time for that shit. Long story short(er)... by the time I got done with him... we had a free room (upgrade to a suite for the night)... money to have the good clothes dry cleaned...(hope that tux isn't ruined... it's the best clothing I own, and has silk lapels... if that's the case, the hotel WILL pay for it, have that in writing!)... and, best of all, since we now have no dry clothing (and the hotel contracts out for laundry, so no dryers!)... he offers, after I kinda gently suggested it, to send someone to the liquor store to get us some bourbon, as it was apparent we weren't gonna make the party.
Well, we switch rooms, and I'm still furious, of course. Fortunately, JV is one of those rare critters that nothing phases. I go to get ice, bourbon having been delivered, and come back to find him on the cellphone, laughing his ass off. I'm getting madder and madder, having worked myself into one of my infamous "snits", when he hangs up, tells me that he had to call his brother and tell him what had happened, and begins to tease me! OMG, I didn't know whether to smash his face, leave his ass there, or what, but after a while, he got me calmed down, and laughing along with him.
We ended up in the WORKING hot tub in this room for two hours, while he rubbed my shoulders, got drunk, and had a truly wonderful "party for two". It turned into a pretty damn good evening, after all!!
Got up this morning, put on the STILL damp clothing from the night before, took him home, had breakfast at his house, (damn, his bro can COOK, too!).... kissed him "G'bye for now", and drove home.... an hour in cold, damp clothing, but chuckling all the way. I was even in a good enough mood to stop at a garden center on the way home, and buy Mom a beautiful hanging basket for Mother's Day, and a thank you for letting me use the car... (and perhaps an apology for the wet driver's seat? LOL!).....and am now home, dry, warm, and going back to bed for a bit.
I tell ya, you HAVE to love a man that can laugh through a night like that.... think I might keep him a while!
*Peace*
Tel
OK, so I'm supposed to go to Louisville, stopping to pick up the RL "insignificant other" as we call ourselves, right? Then, we are supposed to go to this fancy-schmancy Derby party, and I get to wear the Armani tux for the first time in like five years. Ok, so far, so good, right? NOT!!!!!
I get down there, after the hour drive, no problems. I get to JV's house, go in to see his Momma, who has some major health issues, and has just recently gotten out of the hospital, having almost died for I think the third time in the last year. I also get to visit with his li'l bro, who relieves him occasionally as caregiver so he and I can spend some time together. Love that kid to death!
The visit goes well, and we head out to the hotel that we usually stay in when I'm down there. We do that as much for privacy, as to let him just "get away" for the night, from the constant pressures and demands that he has as his Mom's full time primary care giver. Anyway, we decide, since it's kinda a "special event" evening, to upgrade to a room with a jacuzzi/hot tub in it. So far, so good, still, right? Not really.
We carry the good clothes, and assorted "crap" in, and notice that the hot tub has been "Added" to the original design... it's in the corner of the bedroom area, which is a little strange, but still no problem, as it's just the two of us. We hang the "good clothes" on the clothing rack, fill the hot tub for a little "pre-party relaxing" ;-). I'm in the restroom, when I hear JV turn on the jets in the hot tub, followed by "FUCK!!!!!!! GET OUT HERE!!!!!" Now, mind you, all sorts of things go through my mind... he's fallen, he's electrocuted, etc. This is the man that rarely swears, and certainly not at full volume.
I come into the main room, and there is water dripping EVERYWHERE, and still spraying out of the hot tub, which he is trying in vain to get to shut off. Finally, I find the breaker for it, get it off, but by now, our good clothing, our "street clothes", the bed, damn near the whole ROOM is hosed down. One of the jet nozzle covers has come loose, allowing the spinner nozzle to point straight up, and out the side of the tub. Needless to say, my legendary temper immediately kicked in, I put the wet clothing BACK on, and head to the office.
The poor night manager looks up as I come in, sees me standing there dripping wet (Towels all got wet, too...grrrr......)....and blanches JUST a little bit. I calmly approached the desk, and said..."I think we need a different room." He looks at me, quietly asks what happened, and waits. I tell him, and he actually accuses US of doing something to "his hot tub". NOT the right time for that shit. Long story short(er)... by the time I got done with him... we had a free room (upgrade to a suite for the night)... money to have the good clothes dry cleaned...(hope that tux isn't ruined... it's the best clothing I own, and has silk lapels... if that's the case, the hotel WILL pay for it, have that in writing!)... and, best of all, since we now have no dry clothing (and the hotel contracts out for laundry, so no dryers!)... he offers, after I kinda gently suggested it, to send someone to the liquor store to get us some bourbon, as it was apparent we weren't gonna make the party.
Well, we switch rooms, and I'm still furious, of course. Fortunately, JV is one of those rare critters that nothing phases. I go to get ice, bourbon having been delivered, and come back to find him on the cellphone, laughing his ass off. I'm getting madder and madder, having worked myself into one of my infamous "snits", when he hangs up, tells me that he had to call his brother and tell him what had happened, and begins to tease me! OMG, I didn't know whether to smash his face, leave his ass there, or what, but after a while, he got me calmed down, and laughing along with him.
We ended up in the WORKING hot tub in this room for two hours, while he rubbed my shoulders, got drunk, and had a truly wonderful "party for two". It turned into a pretty damn good evening, after all!!
Got up this morning, put on the STILL damp clothing from the night before, took him home, had breakfast at his house, (damn, his bro can COOK, too!).... kissed him "G'bye for now", and drove home.... an hour in cold, damp clothing, but chuckling all the way. I was even in a good enough mood to stop at a garden center on the way home, and buy Mom a beautiful hanging basket for Mother's Day, and a thank you for letting me use the car... (and perhaps an apology for the wet driver's seat? LOL!).....and am now home, dry, warm, and going back to bed for a bit.
I tell ya, you HAVE to love a man that can laugh through a night like that.... think I might keep him a while!
*Peace*
Tel
Monday, April 26, 2010
Chuck Norris rides again!
OMG, I can hardly quit laughing..... borrowed these off a Facebook page... TOO funny! One of my ex coworkers and I used to do the "Chuck Norris can ...." thing at work.... this is TOO good not to pass along!
(click to enlarge)
(click to enlarge)
ROFLMMFAO!
On love and the aging process......
I was reading through random blogs (on a different site) this morning, and found an interesting quote. I found it very thought provoking, and particularly pertinent, as I approach that "fifty" mark. Unfortunately, it didn't give the author's name, and when I contacted the blogger, they didn't know either, as they had gotten it second hand. I would like to see more of their writings, so if anyone has a clue who wrote this, please let me know, k?
"Physical attraction is secondary in a relationship. It's the respect, and deeper emotions that make the love-making so special after age 35 or so. Perhaps that's why so many people that wait until they are in their middle years, have more loving, lasting relationships when they DO happen."
"The emotional maturity that comes with the aging process allows you to 'look past' the physical flaws that are inevitable when we reach middle age."
"When you lose that hard body, those firm breasts and bottom.... that's when the REAL fun of love comes about.... because you make love to the TOTAL person, and not just their physical self."
VERY excellent observations, I think!
*Peace*
Tel
"Physical attraction is secondary in a relationship. It's the respect, and deeper emotions that make the love-making so special after age 35 or so. Perhaps that's why so many people that wait until they are in their middle years, have more loving, lasting relationships when they DO happen."
"The emotional maturity that comes with the aging process allows you to 'look past' the physical flaws that are inevitable when we reach middle age."
"When you lose that hard body, those firm breasts and bottom.... that's when the REAL fun of love comes about.... because you make love to the TOTAL person, and not just their physical self."
VERY excellent observations, I think!
*Peace*
Tel
Saturday, April 24, 2010
BETH!!!!!!
Just because. I think I posted this a few months ago, but you can't GET too much Beth Hart! I would do things that I haven't done in 25 years with her, if she'd just sing to me like she did to that lucky gal in the video! MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
"Do not go quietly into that dark night......"
I had an interesting discussion with a DJ friend of mine from SL on Facebook this morning..(He's a FAB, DJ, btw, great person, and good friend!)..... we were joking around about a song from the late seventies, and, of course, this led to some veiled "age jokes" between the two of us.... all in good fun. I mentioned my age, and he said, after I commented that though of COURSE neither he nor I were born at the time that song came out, or at least were still in diapers, that I was actually 18 the year that it did, and so on..."LOL... I'll pretend I didn't read that... For me you're an eternal teenager ;-) (just like me ! lol)".
This led me to thinkin'..... you know, in many ways, he's right. I reminded him that my SL profile, under the 1st life tab, lists my REAL age (I have my reasons.... lost a damned good partner that way once... not because he disliked my age, but was afraid, after he found out, that, since we were attempting RL, somewhat, he'd "outlive me by many years, and that made him sad". For those of you that go back THAT far with me, it was Gus, who doesn't come on SL anymore, though we still are in contact on yahoo, occasionally.), and also has a quote that being 48 makes me "settled, NOT old!". Another friend of mine on Facebook commented that since 50 is the new 30, that means that on my next birthday, I'll be 29 again! I like the way he thinks! (He's a bit older than me, btw, the other friend.).
Anywhooooo..... It is very true what he said. In many ways, I AM the "eternal teenager", although, I actually prefer "early thirty something". I refuse to get old. I'm fighting it kicking and screaming all the way... I will die my hair, maintain my weight loss, keep getting physically as much healthier as I can, until the day I die...(I know, I know..I smoke, but that too is something that I'm working on.)
I live each day to its fullest, unless something has happened to make it a "doom and gloom" day... unfortunately, I've had more than usual of those lately, but that's easing up a bit, as the new medication is kicking in, and the dosage is finally right. (Bipolar, spring swing... coming out the other side, finally!). Even those days, I live to the fullest.... I don't deny my "darker nature".... don't relish it, but it's also part of me, and I explore it fully, as well, in the hopes of understanding THAT, too.
I have dated guys half my age, that can't keep up with me... I outdanced a 26 yr old last week, IRL, even with the arthritis in my feet..... I am not bragging... it's a mindset... you just don't "let yourself" get OLD! There is a fine line between maturity, and aging.... I choose NOT to cross it... although I KNOW some of you will question the "maturity" aspect! *grins right along with you*
Even as recently as last year, I was regretting "pushing fifty", looking at my life, my regrets, my failures..... I'd missed the successes, the joys, the wonders. Coming back to SL has reopened my eyes a bit, in the last year. Yes, I've had heartaches, mismatches, spats with friends..... but, I've also learned that there are GOOD people out there, and even though my RL is hell at times, I can always go "inworld".... get away from it all. A major factor for me in keeping a youthful, (basically) optimistic outlook on life is... keep dreaming. Having goals, and striving to reach them, is the adult part. Keeping the "dreams alive" is the youthful aspect. Too often I've lost those, as do many in the "midlife" years.
I guess my point is..... enjoy life! It doesn't matter what you do, how old you are, sexual orientation, whatever.... take what it gives you, and make the biggest damned cake outta those ingredients, and just INDULGE yourself! Don't even bother with a fork... just pick that bastard up, and chow down!
*Peace*
Tel
BTW, Tel is on a rampage, atm.... saddle up, bois, it's ridin' time... The "Butch Bitch" is back in town! (just a little personal RP I have going on with some friends.... lol!... plus, I'm enjoying the HELL out of the new look! ROFL! It's a different side of "Tel" that is having a blast atm!)
This led me to thinkin'..... you know, in many ways, he's right. I reminded him that my SL profile, under the 1st life tab, lists my REAL age (I have my reasons.... lost a damned good partner that way once... not because he disliked my age, but was afraid, after he found out, that, since we were attempting RL, somewhat, he'd "outlive me by many years, and that made him sad". For those of you that go back THAT far with me, it was Gus, who doesn't come on SL anymore, though we still are in contact on yahoo, occasionally.), and also has a quote that being 48 makes me "settled, NOT old!". Another friend of mine on Facebook commented that since 50 is the new 30, that means that on my next birthday, I'll be 29 again! I like the way he thinks! (He's a bit older than me, btw, the other friend.).
Anywhooooo..... It is very true what he said. In many ways, I AM the "eternal teenager", although, I actually prefer "early thirty something". I refuse to get old. I'm fighting it kicking and screaming all the way... I will die my hair, maintain my weight loss, keep getting physically as much healthier as I can, until the day I die...(I know, I know..I smoke, but that too is something that I'm working on.)
I live each day to its fullest, unless something has happened to make it a "doom and gloom" day... unfortunately, I've had more than usual of those lately, but that's easing up a bit, as the new medication is kicking in, and the dosage is finally right. (Bipolar, spring swing... coming out the other side, finally!). Even those days, I live to the fullest.... I don't deny my "darker nature".... don't relish it, but it's also part of me, and I explore it fully, as well, in the hopes of understanding THAT, too.
I have dated guys half my age, that can't keep up with me... I outdanced a 26 yr old last week, IRL, even with the arthritis in my feet..... I am not bragging... it's a mindset... you just don't "let yourself" get OLD! There is a fine line between maturity, and aging.... I choose NOT to cross it... although I KNOW some of you will question the "maturity" aspect! *grins right along with you*
Even as recently as last year, I was regretting "pushing fifty", looking at my life, my regrets, my failures..... I'd missed the successes, the joys, the wonders. Coming back to SL has reopened my eyes a bit, in the last year. Yes, I've had heartaches, mismatches, spats with friends..... but, I've also learned that there are GOOD people out there, and even though my RL is hell at times, I can always go "inworld".... get away from it all. A major factor for me in keeping a youthful, (basically) optimistic outlook on life is... keep dreaming. Having goals, and striving to reach them, is the adult part. Keeping the "dreams alive" is the youthful aspect. Too often I've lost those, as do many in the "midlife" years.
I guess my point is..... enjoy life! It doesn't matter what you do, how old you are, sexual orientation, whatever.... take what it gives you, and make the biggest damned cake outta those ingredients, and just INDULGE yourself! Don't even bother with a fork... just pick that bastard up, and chow down!
*Peace*
Tel
BTW, Tel is on a rampage, atm.... saddle up, bois, it's ridin' time... The "Butch Bitch" is back in town! (just a little personal RP I have going on with some friends.... lol!... plus, I'm enjoying the HELL out of the new look! ROFL! It's a different side of "Tel" that is having a blast atm!)
Friday, April 23, 2010
And on a lighter note.....
I ordered and watched the funniest movie that I've seen in a LONG time the other night...... It's called The Big Gay Musical. I don't think it's available in stores yet, but you can order it directly from that link. As their trailer says...."Adam and Steve.... the way God made them!". Story of one out of the closet gay man, the rather introspective, semi-closeted one that falls in love with him, religious parents, and a retelling of Genesis, like you've never seen it, in an off-Broadway musical format. Well worth the time and money! Enjoy!
OH, and there's LOTS of pretty chorus boys, and Evangelicals, too! And a substantial amount of skin! XD
*Peace*
Tel
OH, and there's LOTS of pretty chorus boys, and Evangelicals, too! And a substantial amount of skin! XD
*Peace*
Tel
The letter I wish I could write......
Meh, it's a gray, rainy, nasty day, and those always make me introspective. Unfortunately, they keep Mom inside as well, which makes her a little crazier than usual. We've already duked it out twice today... (yeah, we have one of THOSE kinds of relationships.... communication is done best at full volume..lol) However, these exchanges always leave me feeling guilty as hell, and morally bankrupt, especially as her health fails. I don't really care who or if anyone reads this post..... this one is a "soul cleansing" for me, and me alone.
As Mother's Day rapidly approaches, I look at Mom, watching her slip a bit more....... physically, mentally.... I have become her "caregiver" in many ways, yet we are not close enough to say these words to each other. We have a rather strained relationship... always have.
We live right next door to each other, which, while it makes it easier for me to "do things for her", also increases the strain of daily living, as there is NO escape at times. Growing up, and even today, I can't remember a single instance of either of us saying "I love you" to each other, nor did I ever hear my father and her say that to each other.
Dad was an alcoholic... abusive at times.... (well, MOST of the time, actually). They had a loveless, "proper", upper middle class marriage, in which, as far as the world was concerned, everything was "perfect". Smart kids, a dog, nice old Victorian brick home..... Dad had a good job, as a civil contractor for the U.S. Navy. Mom owned and operated a furniture refinishing business for 18 years, and for a while, a grocery store, too. We always had spending money in our pockets, and decent (though sometimes homemade, in the early years) clothes on our backs. We got (used) cars for our sixteenth birthdays. Cadillac in front of the house, manicured lawn, the whole shebang. Yet things were VERY wrong, on the inside.
There was no love, no emotion in that household. "I love you" was said with the back of a hand, or a belt, or just silence and indifference. Now that the roles are reversing, it sometimes takes all I have NOT to snap at Mom, when the passive/agressive behavior or downright manipulation happens. Guilt is the keyword, and SOP for her. I still can't bring myself to tell her that I love her, and always have..... Dad died after us not speaking to each other for over ten years, except for one brief phone call, in which he said he would "call back in about fifteen minutes".... five years later, he was gone. I have worked through my emotions about our issues, but still have not managed to go to his grave, which is clear across the country, in California, thanks to his second wife ignoring his burial wishes.
These are the things that I WISH I had the nerve and will to say to Mom, before her eventual passing.....
"Dearest Mother,
Ah, we have NOT always been kind to each other, have we? I remember, but choose to forgive all the years of emotional coldness, and outright abuse on you and Dad's part. I forgive you for standing by, while us kids suffered broken arms, a broken jaw...... "falls" that were easily explained to the schools in those days, because we were "priviledged" kids, somehow, because of your family's name, even when we had no money. I forgive the Christmas presents that we were told we didn't deserve, but only got because "so and so" got one similar. Ignoring the sexual abuse that I went through at the hands of another relative, and then calling me a liar when it DID come out.
But it wasn't all bad, was it? Even before Dad got his promotions, and your business became successful... we always had food on the table, and clothing on our backs. We never begged for food, or took public assistance, learning to "make do" where we could, and to "do it ourselves" if we had to. You taught us to have strong work ethics, even if it was just your way of avoiding the pain at home.... go in every day, regardless of how you feel..... give people their money's worth, whether it be labor, if you work for someone else.... or goods, if you are self employed.
You taught us to be self-sufficient.... I can sew as well as my sister can work on her own car! You, as a master carpenter, taught me to do things with tools and scrap wood, that most would say impossible. You gave me my music, which, while the arthritis doesn't let me play the piano like I used to, still makes me AND you smile when I come over for my daily visits, and manage to find the time to whip something out of the keys occassionally.
You taught me to cook. BOTH of you. This has sustained me through over thirty years in that business... well, off and on.... I wonder, did you KNOW that you were raising your kids to be potentially single, neurotic as hell, and having to do every thing for themselves, when you did that? We all had commitment issues.... fortunately, I had David to help me through mine, and Sis has Bill, now, after three failed attempts.
I love you, Mom, for all the good things that you've given me/us.... I also have resentments galore, that pop up at the strangest times.... sometimes, all it takes is a word out of you, or "that look"... or Gods forbid... the "sigh". Things that you say and do NOW, trigger the memories of the bad years, many of which I had suppressed during my years with David, and away from you....
I think the hardest thing of all, is watching you becoming more feeble daily... you, who used to win math contests, now have to have me balance your check book. You, the avid gardener, with one of the largest ones in town, now forced by bad health and arthritis to "supervise" me while outside. You, with the huge vocabulary, and acid wit, (which I inherited FULL measure, tyvm!), now searching for the words that the strokes have left you bereft of.
You were one of the strongest women that I knew, if cold most of the time. It HURTS to watch this. As I have to assume more and more responsibilites in this situation, I die myself a little more each day. I don't want to be the "parent"... I don't want to do this, but I HAVE to. Sis is too busy with her own life, kids, Bill's kids, grandkids.... Kevin is gone. That only leaves me.
Though the memories and resentments are huge, I can forgive. I DO remember some good things, and want to create more of THOSE types of memories before the end does get here. I know that you will never see this.... I'm neither man enough, nor bitch enough to say these things to you, no matter how cathartic it might be to my spirit, especially when I just know that you will sigh, and say, as usual..."Yeah, everything's Mom's fault, as usual.", then cry and lay another layer of guilt on my soul.
But, I do wanna say that I love you underneath it all, and hope that you find your own peace before you pass.... hopefully, after many more years of making my life miserable.
Love,
Kid #1"
You know, I will NEVER print or show this to her, and since she doesn't "do" computers (her words), and no one from my RL that reads this would tell her about it, I can safely post these things. I wish I COULD say this to her. That being said, though.... I think, after having put this FINALLY down in print, albeit electronically, and the catharsis of that, when we do go eat for Mother's Day this year, I CAN bring myself to finally, after all these years, give her a hug, and tell her that I love her. *smiles*
Unless she makes me take her to Wal-Mart before lunch, that is! :P
*Peace*
Tel
As Mother's Day rapidly approaches, I look at Mom, watching her slip a bit more....... physically, mentally.... I have become her "caregiver" in many ways, yet we are not close enough to say these words to each other. We have a rather strained relationship... always have.
We live right next door to each other, which, while it makes it easier for me to "do things for her", also increases the strain of daily living, as there is NO escape at times. Growing up, and even today, I can't remember a single instance of either of us saying "I love you" to each other, nor did I ever hear my father and her say that to each other.
Dad was an alcoholic... abusive at times.... (well, MOST of the time, actually). They had a loveless, "proper", upper middle class marriage, in which, as far as the world was concerned, everything was "perfect". Smart kids, a dog, nice old Victorian brick home..... Dad had a good job, as a civil contractor for the U.S. Navy. Mom owned and operated a furniture refinishing business for 18 years, and for a while, a grocery store, too. We always had spending money in our pockets, and decent (though sometimes homemade, in the early years) clothes on our backs. We got (used) cars for our sixteenth birthdays. Cadillac in front of the house, manicured lawn, the whole shebang. Yet things were VERY wrong, on the inside.
There was no love, no emotion in that household. "I love you" was said with the back of a hand, or a belt, or just silence and indifference. Now that the roles are reversing, it sometimes takes all I have NOT to snap at Mom, when the passive/agressive behavior or downright manipulation happens. Guilt is the keyword, and SOP for her. I still can't bring myself to tell her that I love her, and always have..... Dad died after us not speaking to each other for over ten years, except for one brief phone call, in which he said he would "call back in about fifteen minutes".... five years later, he was gone. I have worked through my emotions about our issues, but still have not managed to go to his grave, which is clear across the country, in California, thanks to his second wife ignoring his burial wishes.
These are the things that I WISH I had the nerve and will to say to Mom, before her eventual passing.....
"Dearest Mother,
Ah, we have NOT always been kind to each other, have we? I remember, but choose to forgive all the years of emotional coldness, and outright abuse on you and Dad's part. I forgive you for standing by, while us kids suffered broken arms, a broken jaw...... "falls" that were easily explained to the schools in those days, because we were "priviledged" kids, somehow, because of your family's name, even when we had no money. I forgive the Christmas presents that we were told we didn't deserve, but only got because "so and so" got one similar. Ignoring the sexual abuse that I went through at the hands of another relative, and then calling me a liar when it DID come out.
But it wasn't all bad, was it? Even before Dad got his promotions, and your business became successful... we always had food on the table, and clothing on our backs. We never begged for food, or took public assistance, learning to "make do" where we could, and to "do it ourselves" if we had to. You taught us to have strong work ethics, even if it was just your way of avoiding the pain at home.... go in every day, regardless of how you feel..... give people their money's worth, whether it be labor, if you work for someone else.... or goods, if you are self employed.
You taught us to be self-sufficient.... I can sew as well as my sister can work on her own car! You, as a master carpenter, taught me to do things with tools and scrap wood, that most would say impossible. You gave me my music, which, while the arthritis doesn't let me play the piano like I used to, still makes me AND you smile when I come over for my daily visits, and manage to find the time to whip something out of the keys occassionally.
You taught me to cook. BOTH of you. This has sustained me through over thirty years in that business... well, off and on.... I wonder, did you KNOW that you were raising your kids to be potentially single, neurotic as hell, and having to do every thing for themselves, when you did that? We all had commitment issues.... fortunately, I had David to help me through mine, and Sis has Bill, now, after three failed attempts.
I love you, Mom, for all the good things that you've given me/us.... I also have resentments galore, that pop up at the strangest times.... sometimes, all it takes is a word out of you, or "that look"... or Gods forbid... the "sigh". Things that you say and do NOW, trigger the memories of the bad years, many of which I had suppressed during my years with David, and away from you....
I think the hardest thing of all, is watching you becoming more feeble daily... you, who used to win math contests, now have to have me balance your check book. You, the avid gardener, with one of the largest ones in town, now forced by bad health and arthritis to "supervise" me while outside. You, with the huge vocabulary, and acid wit, (which I inherited FULL measure, tyvm!), now searching for the words that the strokes have left you bereft of.
You were one of the strongest women that I knew, if cold most of the time. It HURTS to watch this. As I have to assume more and more responsibilites in this situation, I die myself a little more each day. I don't want to be the "parent"... I don't want to do this, but I HAVE to. Sis is too busy with her own life, kids, Bill's kids, grandkids.... Kevin is gone. That only leaves me.
Though the memories and resentments are huge, I can forgive. I DO remember some good things, and want to create more of THOSE types of memories before the end does get here. I know that you will never see this.... I'm neither man enough, nor bitch enough to say these things to you, no matter how cathartic it might be to my spirit, especially when I just know that you will sigh, and say, as usual..."Yeah, everything's Mom's fault, as usual.", then cry and lay another layer of guilt on my soul.
But, I do wanna say that I love you underneath it all, and hope that you find your own peace before you pass.... hopefully, after many more years of making my life miserable.
Love,
Kid #1"
You know, I will NEVER print or show this to her, and since she doesn't "do" computers (her words), and no one from my RL that reads this would tell her about it, I can safely post these things. I wish I COULD say this to her. That being said, though.... I think, after having put this FINALLY down in print, albeit electronically, and the catharsis of that, when we do go eat for Mother's Day this year, I CAN bring myself to finally, after all these years, give her a hug, and tell her that I love her. *smiles*
Unless she makes me take her to Wal-Mart before lunch, that is! :P
*Peace*
Tel
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Just for fun!
Ok, so yesterday was NOT a good day for me..... I was hovering between depression and anger all day long. Today WILL be different, if I have to cry while murdering someone to get there. (KIDDING!) I HAVE decided, though, that I am gonna have a good day. There are several reasons........
In the first place, my internet has been a little wonky lately. SL problems aside, and we all know how multiple THOSE can be, I keep popping off line, or freezing up, or whatever. This has never happened before, and after running every scan that my system is capable of, have determined that the problem lies with Verizon, and not on my end. That's a HUGE load off my mind, because I'm kinda at the mercy of the virus/malware/whatever scanners, because, though I DO have some computer training, most of it predates Windows, even! (Yes, I have a call into them... you'd THINK the phone company would have a few more operators, eh?)
Last night, I was at a club with some friends, and lost voice for the third time that evening, tried to relog, and my entire internet had gone wonky. It wouldn't even let me check my email. I reset the modem, but nothing, even though all the indicators showed a good connection. I played around in photoshop a bit, and by the time it DID let me get back online, everyone had logged for the night.
Anyway, I wanna apologize to anyone that might think that I've been deliberately ignoring them, or just "popping" offline in a snit or whatever. 'T'ain't so. Nuff about that.
I've been having a little feedback from the jobsearch, and have two interviews scheduled this week.... both, unfortunately, still in the foods industry, but oh, well, it IS what I know best. With the arthritis only getting worse in my feet, it will be hell to go back to standing all day long, but one is a manager's job in a well run local "social club", so maybe I'll get some paperwork time, or something. At least there, I won't have to deal with the "fag jokes" and sexual hijinx that went on at the LAST job. Wish me luck!
I may have to give up the homestead sim, and find cheaper rent if I don't find a job soon..... I hope not, and have done some "cash jobs" here and there for friends, but that is seasonal, of course, and the unemployment, while very near our state's maximum amount, is gonna squeak by on the RL bills, but not support that extra "rent" in SL. Time for a little practicality!
The sun is shining. It's warming up again. Gonna be a GOOD day! Off to the gardens for a little sunshine and weed therapy..... LOL!
Hope y'all like this little video as much as I do... I think it's REALLY adorable, and if it brightens just one person's day, has done it's job!
*Peace*
Tel
In the first place, my internet has been a little wonky lately. SL problems aside, and we all know how multiple THOSE can be, I keep popping off line, or freezing up, or whatever. This has never happened before, and after running every scan that my system is capable of, have determined that the problem lies with Verizon, and not on my end. That's a HUGE load off my mind, because I'm kinda at the mercy of the virus/malware/whatever scanners, because, though I DO have some computer training, most of it predates Windows, even! (Yes, I have a call into them... you'd THINK the phone company would have a few more operators, eh?)
Last night, I was at a club with some friends, and lost voice for the third time that evening, tried to relog, and my entire internet had gone wonky. It wouldn't even let me check my email. I reset the modem, but nothing, even though all the indicators showed a good connection. I played around in photoshop a bit, and by the time it DID let me get back online, everyone had logged for the night.
Anyway, I wanna apologize to anyone that might think that I've been deliberately ignoring them, or just "popping" offline in a snit or whatever. 'T'ain't so. Nuff about that.
I've been having a little feedback from the jobsearch, and have two interviews scheduled this week.... both, unfortunately, still in the foods industry, but oh, well, it IS what I know best. With the arthritis only getting worse in my feet, it will be hell to go back to standing all day long, but one is a manager's job in a well run local "social club", so maybe I'll get some paperwork time, or something. At least there, I won't have to deal with the "fag jokes" and sexual hijinx that went on at the LAST job. Wish me luck!
I may have to give up the homestead sim, and find cheaper rent if I don't find a job soon..... I hope not, and have done some "cash jobs" here and there for friends, but that is seasonal, of course, and the unemployment, while very near our state's maximum amount, is gonna squeak by on the RL bills, but not support that extra "rent" in SL. Time for a little practicality!
The sun is shining. It's warming up again. Gonna be a GOOD day! Off to the gardens for a little sunshine and weed therapy..... LOL!
Hope y'all like this little video as much as I do... I think it's REALLY adorable, and if it brightens just one person's day, has done it's job!
*Peace*
Tel
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
This is chilling to the soul.... but must be shared.
A friend of mine posted this story on Facebook. Please read this. If it doesn't make you upset, you are not a human being. It is the story of an elderly gay couple that the state of California seperated, sold their possessions, and kept apart for the final three months of one of them's lives. I don't know if I want to cry or punch a wall. I DO know that I will try to contact this gentleman through his attorneys, and offer the only thing that I can, my moral and emotional support.
This happened several years ago to my "gay parents"..... after Roger developed cancer, Tom, his lover of almost 40 yrs, was not allowed to visit him in the nursing home, because Roger's Pentecostal sister put him on a "proscribed visitor list", in order to try and "save Roger's soul." Tom fought it in court, until the day that Roger finally passed. Having no family of his own in this country, Tom tried to sell the mobile home that he and Roger lived in, so he could return to England, after all these years in America.(As a legal citizen,btw) They had met while both were in their respective country's militaries at the end of WWII. Roger's sister, who HAD at least let Tom continue to live there, but knew that while Tom owned the small plot of land, Roger had owned the dwelling. She sold it right out from under him, to keep him from getting any money out of it, "because they had used it for their sinful lifestyle". That is a direct quote. I was there that day. Tom sold the small plot of land for next to nothing (this was in the early 80's, and land in that part of Kentucky was very inexpensive), and those of us that were friends of his got the money together so he could "go home", but he was murdered, during a robbery at the home where he was staying with other friends who had taken him in before he could leave the country. Tom was almost 80 yrs. old. The robber killed him, he said in court, "because all fags deserve to be dead." He did NOT get the death sentence, but just a life sentence.
Tom was a veteran. He was an American citizen BY CHOICE, which to me says alot. He gave up his homeland, his family, and his military career to BE with Roger. They had one of the strongest, most loving relationships that I've ever seen, and had lasted FAR longer than most of the "god fearing, straight couples" that I knew. They went to Mass every weekend, owned a home, had dogs for kids...(and those of us that they "adopted" and helped us to "become comfortable with being gay"). Our legal system sided with that maniacal Jesus Freak sister of his dead partner's. When I saw this article, I relived those painful months all over again.
No matter where, who,what orientation, whatever...... this is just WRONG!!!! I have a dear friend who's mother and father have been together for over 45 yrs now, and never married. This is NOT just a gay issue, but could also apply to their situation, though highly unlikely in this backward-ass society we have here. Get strong, people, and get ACTIVE! Write your congresspersons, your local politicians.... join anti-hate groups... just do SOMETHING, even if it's just one small thing daily. I love you all!
Clay and his partner of 20 years, Harold, lived in California. Clay and Harold made diligent efforts to protect their legal rights, and had their legal paperwork in place--wills, powers of attorney, and medical directives, all naming each other. Harold was 88 years old and in frail medical condition, but still living at home with Clay, 77, who was in good health. (Click this to read the full story, please.)
*Peace*
Tel
This happened several years ago to my "gay parents"..... after Roger developed cancer, Tom, his lover of almost 40 yrs, was not allowed to visit him in the nursing home, because Roger's Pentecostal sister put him on a "proscribed visitor list", in order to try and "save Roger's soul." Tom fought it in court, until the day that Roger finally passed. Having no family of his own in this country, Tom tried to sell the mobile home that he and Roger lived in, so he could return to England, after all these years in America.(As a legal citizen,btw) They had met while both were in their respective country's militaries at the end of WWII. Roger's sister, who HAD at least let Tom continue to live there, but knew that while Tom owned the small plot of land, Roger had owned the dwelling. She sold it right out from under him, to keep him from getting any money out of it, "because they had used it for their sinful lifestyle". That is a direct quote. I was there that day. Tom sold the small plot of land for next to nothing (this was in the early 80's, and land in that part of Kentucky was very inexpensive), and those of us that were friends of his got the money together so he could "go home", but he was murdered, during a robbery at the home where he was staying with other friends who had taken him in before he could leave the country. Tom was almost 80 yrs. old. The robber killed him, he said in court, "because all fags deserve to be dead." He did NOT get the death sentence, but just a life sentence.
Tom was a veteran. He was an American citizen BY CHOICE, which to me says alot. He gave up his homeland, his family, and his military career to BE with Roger. They had one of the strongest, most loving relationships that I've ever seen, and had lasted FAR longer than most of the "god fearing, straight couples" that I knew. They went to Mass every weekend, owned a home, had dogs for kids...(and those of us that they "adopted" and helped us to "become comfortable with being gay"). Our legal system sided with that maniacal Jesus Freak sister of his dead partner's. When I saw this article, I relived those painful months all over again.
No matter where, who,what orientation, whatever...... this is just WRONG!!!! I have a dear friend who's mother and father have been together for over 45 yrs now, and never married. This is NOT just a gay issue, but could also apply to their situation, though highly unlikely in this backward-ass society we have here. Get strong, people, and get ACTIVE! Write your congresspersons, your local politicians.... join anti-hate groups... just do SOMETHING, even if it's just one small thing daily. I love you all!
Clay and his partner of 20 years, Harold, lived in California. Clay and Harold made diligent efforts to protect their legal rights, and had their legal paperwork in place--wills, powers of attorney, and medical directives, all naming each other. Harold was 88 years old and in frail medical condition, but still living at home with Clay, 77, who was in good health. (Click this to read the full story, please.)
*Peace*
Tel
Monday, April 19, 2010
Strange day..........
Yesterday was a VERY strange day. I had a really really good time on a picnic with someone special, and then had bubble wars with the kitties in the back yard. Sounds like it should make for a good evening, right? Not exactly. It was the high before the fall.
Last night, a dear friend of mine got into a fight with one of his besties. These things are NEVER easy, and when there are REAL feelings involved between people that care about each other, whether friendship, love or whatever, it hurts, things get said that shouldn't, on both sides. I listened to him blow off about it, hopefully gave some good advice, and things seemed much better.
Out of the blue, a club owner that is on my friends list (notice, I did NOT say he was a friend, although I support the club because I have several friends who work there.) IM'd me, and was extremely friendly, wanting me to come and vote for a "friend" of his in a contest. A: That's cheating. I hate when people "pop in", vote and leave. It's just wrong. B: I was with a female client, shopping for hair for her, and was trying to make a little money. He knows my financial/work situation in RL, and knows that I need to make every penny that I can inworld, to support my gang.
This apparently wasn't good enough for him. He was also IM'ing the friend that I was speaking of earlier, who DJ's at his club, and he, unfortunately, went to that "party contest", so I decided maybe I'd go, but not vote, because of my convictions. Just as I was about to accept that TP from my friend, the jackass club owner had the NERVE to IM me back, with "Whatever" and "/me shrugs", then didn't say another word.
It seems that some people get a LITTLE pissy when they are use to being in control, and some of us refuse to bow down. I owe this man nothing. I have dumped a shitload of L$ into his club, and promoted it to my Neko friends inworld. OK, I am well known for my friendships, and for my giving nature. Apparently, he's NOT heard of my temper, which is damn near as legendary. I am NOT in the best of places emotionally in RL, due to the job situation, and Mom's rapidly deteriorating health, so perhaps this was NOT the time for him to force a showdown.
I IM'd him back with ......"Ok, I"m only gonna say this once, and then let the matter drop from this end..... I am not one of your little "vampire clan", nor am I one of your "bitch boys"..... I am a grown male, with many varied interests on SL... one of which is my business, which supports my accounts. I will NOT be "whatevered" by someone that I"m trying to just be a friend to, and whose club I try to support.... let's get that straight right now. Matter closed as far as I'm concerned."
His response?
[20:42] Him:: whatever
[20:42] Him: shruggs
[20:43] Him: well i wont inflict you with my presence any further
[20:44] Him: have a good............. whatever it is you have
[20:44] Teleny Macarthur: drop the attitude, bitch
[20:44] Him: fuck you cunt
Ok, that did it..... I decided that he'd crossed ONE too many lines with me. I don't like the "C" word, don't use it very often, and certainly not over something this trivial. My friend that he was also IM'ing left the party place, and tp'd to another club we go to. THIS jackass showed up, talking trash about me to another friend in IM. At this point, I started laughing...... I DO so love a good showdown, and needed a "win" emotionally right now.
I had my friend TP me in. Jackass came over and just stood in front of the friend, who happens to DJ for him, and is part of the "Vamp Clan". We discussed this in IM, and he told me he didn't care what the repercussions were for him. A great many people are fed up with jackass' attitude, control issues, and the fact that he tries to sleep with everyone he sees...(Tel included, which MIGHT have something to do with this situation, since I don't do that, well, not very often, and certainly not with him!) I simply stepped between them.
That's it. No tirades, no public arguments, no hateful angry IM's. Just stood there. He didn't IM the DJ friend, just moved around me, and got closer. This is a no pushing area, but since I have access to a coupla tricks, I DID push him out of the way, and got right in front of my friend again. This went on for almost 20 minutes, the whole time, my friend was in voice...."Dude, he's not talking. Dude, I'm a little nervous.....etc".
Now, to me, SL has been a "Virtual Reality" lately. Yes, the personalities are real, and so are my loves and friendships. But it CAN be switched off. So I stood there. And stood there. Every time that he moved around me, I simply pushed him out of the way and stood there. He logged off, w/o saying another word to either of us.
By this time, I was laughing my ass off. Just the visuals on the monitor were making me giggle hysterically. My friend and I went laughing off to Club Industrial to dance and laugh a while. Turns out, it was a pretty decent evening after all! LOL!
Unfortunately, I fell asleep at the wheel after my buddy logged off, and missed my SL BF when he came back online, (it WAS after 2 AM, for goodness sakes!), but he left me a message that he'd see me today!
So, all's well, that ends well!
*Peace*
Tel
Last night, a dear friend of mine got into a fight with one of his besties. These things are NEVER easy, and when there are REAL feelings involved between people that care about each other, whether friendship, love or whatever, it hurts, things get said that shouldn't, on both sides. I listened to him blow off about it, hopefully gave some good advice, and things seemed much better.
Out of the blue, a club owner that is on my friends list (notice, I did NOT say he was a friend, although I support the club because I have several friends who work there.) IM'd me, and was extremely friendly, wanting me to come and vote for a "friend" of his in a contest. A: That's cheating. I hate when people "pop in", vote and leave. It's just wrong. B: I was with a female client, shopping for hair for her, and was trying to make a little money. He knows my financial/work situation in RL, and knows that I need to make every penny that I can inworld, to support my gang.
This apparently wasn't good enough for him. He was also IM'ing the friend that I was speaking of earlier, who DJ's at his club, and he, unfortunately, went to that "party contest", so I decided maybe I'd go, but not vote, because of my convictions. Just as I was about to accept that TP from my friend, the jackass club owner had the NERVE to IM me back, with "Whatever" and "/me shrugs", then didn't say another word.
It seems that some people get a LITTLE pissy when they are use to being in control, and some of us refuse to bow down. I owe this man nothing. I have dumped a shitload of L$ into his club, and promoted it to my Neko friends inworld. OK, I am well known for my friendships, and for my giving nature. Apparently, he's NOT heard of my temper, which is damn near as legendary. I am NOT in the best of places emotionally in RL, due to the job situation, and Mom's rapidly deteriorating health, so perhaps this was NOT the time for him to force a showdown.
I IM'd him back with ......"Ok, I"m only gonna say this once, and then let the matter drop from this end..... I am not one of your little "vampire clan", nor am I one of your "bitch boys"..... I am a grown male, with many varied interests on SL... one of which is my business, which supports my accounts. I will NOT be "whatevered" by someone that I"m trying to just be a friend to, and whose club I try to support.... let's get that straight right now. Matter closed as far as I'm concerned."
His response?
[20:42] Him:: whatever
[20:42] Him: shruggs
[20:43] Him: well i wont inflict you with my presence any further
[20:44] Him: have a good............. whatever it is you have
[20:44] Teleny Macarthur: drop the attitude, bitch
[20:44] Him: fuck you cunt
Ok, that did it..... I decided that he'd crossed ONE too many lines with me. I don't like the "C" word, don't use it very often, and certainly not over something this trivial. My friend that he was also IM'ing left the party place, and tp'd to another club we go to. THIS jackass showed up, talking trash about me to another friend in IM. At this point, I started laughing...... I DO so love a good showdown, and needed a "win" emotionally right now.
I had my friend TP me in. Jackass came over and just stood in front of the friend, who happens to DJ for him, and is part of the "Vamp Clan". We discussed this in IM, and he told me he didn't care what the repercussions were for him. A great many people are fed up with jackass' attitude, control issues, and the fact that he tries to sleep with everyone he sees...(Tel included, which MIGHT have something to do with this situation, since I don't do that, well, not very often, and certainly not with him!) I simply stepped between them.
That's it. No tirades, no public arguments, no hateful angry IM's. Just stood there. He didn't IM the DJ friend, just moved around me, and got closer. This is a no pushing area, but since I have access to a coupla tricks, I DID push him out of the way, and got right in front of my friend again. This went on for almost 20 minutes, the whole time, my friend was in voice...."Dude, he's not talking. Dude, I'm a little nervous.....etc".
Now, to me, SL has been a "Virtual Reality" lately. Yes, the personalities are real, and so are my loves and friendships. But it CAN be switched off. So I stood there. And stood there. Every time that he moved around me, I simply pushed him out of the way and stood there. He logged off, w/o saying another word to either of us.
By this time, I was laughing my ass off. Just the visuals on the monitor were making me giggle hysterically. My friend and I went laughing off to Club Industrial to dance and laugh a while. Turns out, it was a pretty decent evening after all! LOL!
Unfortunately, I fell asleep at the wheel after my buddy logged off, and missed my SL BF when he came back online, (it WAS after 2 AM, for goodness sakes!), but he left me a message that he'd see me today!
So, all's well, that ends well!
*Peace*
Tel
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Ok, now he's gone TOO far!
Just look who I found sunbathing by the fishpond in the back yard! ROFL! Bad Tel, BAD! Must be punished! (any takers? *grins*)
*Peace*
Tel
*Peace*
Tel
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Continuing yesterday's theme.....
Gawd, this could go on forever, now that he's figured out how to "cross over". I might as well start charging Tel rent in the 1st Life world, he's around so much. Here's a pic of him and his friend Tim admiring Mom's flowering Crabapple trees the other day. Now he's dragging his friends along. Fortunately, they are all supplied with food that they brought with them! LOL!
On a more serious note, I tried to file my unemployment yesterday for the last two weeks, and it wouldn't let me. Scared the HELL outta me, because it only let me file one week, instead of both, like I've been doing. Drove all the way to the Indiana Workforce development office this morning, only to find out that it was because I filed it AFTER 3 PM yesterday. If I'd filed it before 3 PM, it would have showed both weeks immediately. As it stands, the second week will show up tomorrow. I love government efficiency, don't you? Sheesh!
On a more serious note, I tried to file my unemployment yesterday for the last two weeks, and it wouldn't let me. Scared the HELL outta me, because it only let me file one week, instead of both, like I've been doing. Drove all the way to the Indiana Workforce development office this morning, only to find out that it was because I filed it AFTER 3 PM yesterday. If I'd filed it before 3 PM, it would have showed both weeks immediately. As it stands, the second week will show up tomorrow. I love government efficiency, don't you? Sheesh!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Tel's visit to RL!
Tel came to visit me today, bringing prezzies! He's proud of me for finishing about 90% of the house, and NOT decking the lazy contractor, who showed up yesterday, worked for 25 minutes, then left while I was out getting me some lunch. He did NOT show up today again. I guess another call to the insurance company that was stupid enough to pay him up front is in order. I WANT MY PORCH DONE!
Anyway, Tel and I had a nice time playing in my neck of the woods for a change. Good conversation, a few laughs at some of his more outrageous antics, and a lovely stroll along the river bank. I just wish he'd learn to be a little more civilized when he comes to visit, and keep his feet off the furniture! LAWLZ!
Tel
Anyway, Tel and I had a nice time playing in my neck of the woods for a change. Good conversation, a few laughs at some of his more outrageous antics, and a lovely stroll along the river bank. I just wish he'd learn to be a little more civilized when he comes to visit, and keep his feet off the furniture! LAWLZ!
Actually, my bad knee gave way on me while working in the yard this morning, and I've been stuck sitting with an ice pack on the GOOD one, on this glorious spring day. Apparently, I've twisted it all to hell and back, because it's swelling, and I can barely walk on that leg. Yay!
*Peace*Tel
Monday, April 12, 2010
The Morning Star
Ok, so someone has a few to many Photoshop brushes to play with now, and a fascination with the "Dark Side". I've always been fascinated with the Christian concept of Satan as God's most loyal and faithful servant... the Morning Star.... the Angel of Light.... until pride and willfullness led to his downfall. Just my rendition of the inner "darkness" that all people carry to one degree or another, I guess. I was trying to create the feeling that was prevalent during the "Romantic" era of paintings in the late 1800's: sort of a "sensuality" rather than a "sexuality" feeling. I dunno, but I think it works. This is the only one of the ones that I've done so far that I've printed off and actually framed for the studio wall! :P
This one is a new profile shot. I'm finally figuring out the some of the new filters and plug ins that I've downloaded for PS.... now, if I can just get the money for the new CS5, I have a feeling that this will go on forever. LOL!
*Peace*
Tel
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Just funnin' around!
My buddy Beelly and I have been clubbing, and just being idiots a lot lately. He's a hoot to run around with, tall and handsome, and nice to have as a backup in a fight. LOL! No, there is ABSOLUTELY nothing romantic going on, it's just nice to have a "brother" to hang with inworld, who shares my sense of humor (which can be PREEEETTTTTYYYY far out there sometimes! ROFL!)
Anyway, we have been hanging at some of the seedier spots on SL, and acting like total idjits, while psychically comparing notes on our fellow avatars. Don't you DARE shake your finger at me.... we all do it. "OMG, Freenis!" or "Holy Shit, Batman.... BLING!!!!". Last night, I had gone to Club Industry (which anyone into Stomp, Noiz, Industrial or Goth music NEEDS to check out!) and was still wearing my "Butch Bitch" garb from a contest I'd been in at another club. Ran into Beelly online early (for me, late for him) this morning, and this was the (photoshopped) result! I recommend being a fool to everyone, sometimes.... it really is good for the soul!
Anyway, we have been hanging at some of the seedier spots on SL, and acting like total idjits, while psychically comparing notes on our fellow avatars. Don't you DARE shake your finger at me.... we all do it. "OMG, Freenis!" or "Holy Shit, Batman.... BLING!!!!". Last night, I had gone to Club Industry (which anyone into Stomp, Noiz, Industrial or Goth music NEEDS to check out!) and was still wearing my "Butch Bitch" garb from a contest I'd been in at another club. Ran into Beelly online early (for me, late for him) this morning, and this was the (photoshopped) result! I recommend being a fool to everyone, sometimes.... it really is good for the soul!
Beelly Blanco and the Butch Bitch!
or "DAYUM! We look HAWT! ROFL!"
The Tragedy in Poland......
There is nothing I can say or do, except offer my condolences and deepest prayers to the people, government, and my friends from Poland. What a horrible tragedy, and loss for a wonderful people and country. Blessings on you all.
Friday, April 9, 2010
ROFL!!!!
Ok, I just discovered this woman's links on YouTube. I love GaGa, Taylor Swift not so much, but well done parody is the highest flattery in my opinion. I'm just gonna post the videos, and a couple of others that made me REALLY laugh out loud! Hope you all enjoy the humor!
(These are from another YouTube poster.... hilarious to me, especially since I never really "got" the whole new vampire craze *I am a vamp book/movie fan, but c'mon.... teeny bopper stuff, right?*.... and the Jonas Brothers? Not EVEN gonna comment! LOL!)
Ok, just thought I'd start everyone else's day off with a larf or two!
*Peace*
Tel
(These are from another YouTube poster.... hilarious to me, especially since I never really "got" the whole new vampire craze *I am a vamp book/movie fan, but c'mon.... teeny bopper stuff, right?*.... and the Jonas Brothers? Not EVEN gonna comment! LOL!)
Ok, just thought I'd start everyone else's day off with a larf or two!
*Peace*
Tel
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Just a pic I did....and random thoughts......
Did this for a friend of mine... he loved it! Kinda proud of the way it turned out, so wanted to post it here....
1. When you are content, there is little to write about. The day by day is all that's needed in life.
2. There is no reason to participate in the drama of others. Yours will find you soon enough.
3. Morals are the rules and actions that society expects out of you. Principles are the way in which you cope honorably with the world. I'll take principles ANY day of the week.
4. Give advice when asked. Take advice when it's offered. Same goes for love. :-)
5. My contractor is the laziest human being in the world. (Just HAD to put that one in here! Almost FOUR months since the fire, and my porch STILL isn't finished!)
6. Do not try to live a normal life. Normality is BOORRRRIIINNNNGGGG!!!!
OK, just hadn't posted in a while. Needed a fix. XD!
*Peace*
Tel
Monday, April 5, 2010
I love Spring!
Just thought I'd share a few pictures from around my lovely little city. It's in full bloom with the spring trees, and so on. Hope you enjoy! I've been out in the yard workin' as much as I can, so haven't really much else to write about..... no drama, anyway! YAY!!!!! LOL!
Most days, I just run one of the "critters" on SL, pipe the music through the stereo, and set the speakers in the window, so I can hear them out in the yard. NOT so sure how my neighbors feel, but most of them are at work during the day, anyway. XD
Most days, I just run one of the "critters" on SL, pipe the music through the stereo, and set the speakers in the window, so I can hear them out in the yard. NOT so sure how my neighbors feel, but most of them are at work during the day, anyway. XD
Looking first west, then east along the river walk right behind my house.
Just some shots from the historic district (which is the part of town I live in).
Some of my flowers,and my BEAUTIFUL little ornamental peach tree... and KITTEHS!!!!
*Peace*
Tel
Friday, April 2, 2010
Bondage, Bunnehs and Blood Moons!
Ok, that about sums it up! The Bunneh is back for the weekend! (and thank goodness it's ONLY one weekend a year! ROFL!)
*peace*
Tel
*peace*
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Just some dancin'...........
Last evening, Tim im'd me, and said we had the whole evening just for "us"..... no interruptions, no friends, no (hopefully on either part!) RL interruptions. We were totally at a loss as to what to do! LOL!
Ain't that always the case?
We went to a dance at Gay Australia club in the Pure Indulgence complex, that my friends Dom Bamattar, and his partner, Omatthias Vidor own. It really is a great shopping/partying/ playing complex now. I recommend that y'all check it out. I think, last count, they are up to something like thirty sims, if you count the San Francisco archipelago that they are still working on.
Anyway, Tim was having some rezzing issues, so after the dance, we went to Hotlanta again, hoping that he could rez faster, since we'd been there before. Turned out to be a good choice, as the DJ was a friend of mine, and I managed to get him to break his set, and play a tune JUST for my little wolf......heehee!
All in all, it was a fun evening, and we had a chance to talk, dance, smile and laugh. Mostly, just a chance to communicate, and clear the air of a few things. I think that it was one of the most fun evenings that I've had lately. No, "fun" isn't the word. Relaxing, peaceful and content. Better choices~! *Big smiles!*
Ain't that always the case?
We went to a dance at Gay Australia club in the Pure Indulgence complex, that my friends Dom Bamattar, and his partner, Omatthias Vidor own. It really is a great shopping/partying/ playing complex now. I recommend that y'all check it out. I think, last count, they are up to something like thirty sims, if you count the San Francisco archipelago that they are still working on.
Anyway, Tim was having some rezzing issues, so after the dance, we went to Hotlanta again, hoping that he could rez faster, since we'd been there before. Turned out to be a good choice, as the DJ was a friend of mine, and I managed to get him to break his set, and play a tune JUST for my little wolf......heehee!
All in all, it was a fun evening, and we had a chance to talk, dance, smile and laugh. Mostly, just a chance to communicate, and clear the air of a few things. I think that it was one of the most fun evenings that I've had lately. No, "fun" isn't the word. Relaxing, peaceful and content. Better choices~! *Big smiles!*
There's just "something' about that hair..... *shivers and smiles all over!* SMEXY!!!
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